英语笑话大全

What do you get if you cross a crocodile with a flower?I don't know, but I'm not going to smell it!What button won't you find in a tailors...

Why is Russia a very fast country?Because the people are always Russian!How do you cure a headache?Put your head through a window and the pane will ju...

A noise woke me up this morning.What was that?The crack of dawn!It's gone forever - forever I tell you!What has?Yesterday!Whats red and flies and ...

I want a hair cut please. Certainly, which one!Do you look in the mirror after you've washed your face?No, I look in a towel!Why was the Egyptian ...

What did the tie say to the hat?You go on ahead and I'll hang around!What did the picture say to the wall?I've got you covered!What is the bes...

What stories do the ship captain's children like to hear?Ferry tales!Why did Robin Hood only steal from the rich?Because the poor have nothing wor...

Who is in cowboy films and always broke?Skint Eastwood!Who is the biggest gangster in the sea?Al Caprawn!What do you get if you cross a nun and a chic...

What do you call an American drawing?Yankee doodle!I was once in a play called "Breakfast in Bed"Did you have a big role?No just toast and m...

don't think these photographs you've taken do me justice. You don't want justice - you want mercy!What steps would you take if a madman ca...

How did the telephones get married?In a double ring ceremony!What is a polygon?A dead parrot!Dad, there is a man at the door collecting for the new sw...