当你要求女生娇小可人又文静的时候，她们遭受了什么

When she was a little girl, best-selling author and Momastery writer Glennon Doyle Melton was often described as “pretty” or “adorable.” People commented on her childhood beauty, and strangers were drawn in by her smile. But when a young Glennon would speak to these adults with confidence and clarity, she sensed them pulling back.

当著名畅销书作家格蕾侬还是个小女孩的时候常常被形容成“漂亮”、“可爱”。熟悉她的人赞叹她的美丽娇小，不熟悉她的人则沉醉于她迷人的微笑。当年轻的格蕾侬拥有了自己的思想，自信且观点鲜明地与这些成年人交谈时，他们则显得有些敬而远之。

As Glennon writes in her memoir, “Love Warrior,” she was about 10 years old when the disturbing realization hit her: “I begin to understand that beauty warms people, and smart cools people.” It’s a passage that stands out to Oprah, who asks the author about it when the two sit down for a conversation aired on “SuperSoul Sunday.” Glennon begins by describing society’s expectation for girls and how it influences their psyche.“I think the world wants girls to be pretty and small and quiet,” she says. “As long as I was able to stay pretty and small and quiet, everything would be fine.”

在她的回忆录中的《爱你的战士》一文中写道：美丽让人靠近，睿智让人疏远，这是10岁时经历的现实带给她的深刻记忆。这篇文章引起了Oprah的重视，在一次为期两个小时的直播访谈类节目“SuperSoul Sunday”中，她俩促膝长谈，格蕾侬说受世俗的影响，女孩们心理会产生变化。所有人对于女孩的期望就是：“漂亮、娇小、矜持。只要我能够做到这些那么你就会被世界温柔相待。”

Glennon, who has since become celebrated for her candor and openness, points out that society’s indoctrination of girls sets them up for failure. “How can you be a successful girl if the purpose of being human and growing is ... to find your voice?” she asks. “It’s a set-up.”

此后，格蕾侬因她的坦言率真而出名，她指出是社会对女孩们因循守旧的教条让女孩们很难成功。“在你的生活和成长过程中，如果仅仅一份话语权就需要你去奋斗才能得到，那你怎么可能成功？”她质问道，“这是一个体制问题。”