Quora精选：是什么让你自卑？

What causes low self-esteem？

是什么让你自卑？

获得69.6k好评的回答@Rahul Balhara：

I wake up early in the morning.

我早起。

I meditate and go for a run.

冥想之后去跑步。

I come back and study whole day.

回来后学习一整天。

I feel confident and contended.

我感觉很自信、很满足。

I wake up late in the morning.

我早上起得晚。

I feel tired and sleep again.

感觉很累，再睡个回笼觉。

I woke up again and use Facebook.

再次醒来看看Facebook。

I get bored and watch a movie.

无聊了再看个电影。

I feel bad about myself.

自我感觉很差。

Everybody has some targets in life. If you are not acting in a way which will help you achieve those targets, your self-esteem is bound to hurt.

每个人都有一些生活目标，如果你没有找到能帮助你实现那些目标的方法，你的自尊就会受挫。

获得110.4k好评的回答@Yannick Duchscher：

Lack of actions.

缺乏行动。

Real actions.

是真正的行动。

• Watching TV isn’t an action

•看电视不算行动

• Eating isn’t an action

•吃饭不算行动

• Going to school isn’t an action

•上学不算行动

A real action is something that you want. It can be a side hustle, a hobby…Something that you want!

真正的行动是你想做的事。可以是副业，也可以是爱好…是你真正想做的事！

I enjoy writing, thus I write.

我喜欢写作，所以我写作。

High self-esteem come with pride.

高度的自尊和自豪并存。

If you aren’t proud of yourself, how can’t you have a low self-esteem? The quickest hack to overcome your situation is to win more often. When you win, your body release dopamine and testosterone. Both are strong hormones that push you to do more.

如果你不自豪，自尊心怎么可能不差？战胜你的处境的最快方法就是获得多次胜利。获胜时你体内会释放多巴胺和睾丸素，都是推动你采取更多行动的强效激素。

Once you start to win, you will always crave more winning. You’ll get obsessed about winning. This is how you get started. Win. Win a contest, win a challenge.

你获胜一次，就会渴求更多次胜利，你会沉迷于此无法自拔。这就是你的出发点：获胜。赢得一场竞赛，战胜一次挑战。

Winning is key.

赢是关键。

获得75.9k好评的回答@Aaron N. Josserand-Austin：

No sense of personal sovereignty.

没有个人主权意识。

We are expected from birth to listen to and obey the wishes of others. A stimuli that most of us grow up with and the effects of which culminate over time. Ultimately, we lose any sense of personal sovereignty and inner guidance; and thus, we believe that someone else always has the - more correct way - or knows better than we do.

我们从一出生就被期待能听话并遵从他人意愿。我们大多数人成长过程所伴随的刺激及其产生的影响随着时间的流逝达到顶峰，最终我们丧失了个人主权意识和内心的指引，所以我们相信别人总会有更正确的方法，或者比我们更懂。

We discount our own intuition and mistrust ourselves as a result of this learned response. Subsequently, this becomes a filter for how we view the world, and for how we view ourselves in the world.

由于这种习得的反应我们忽视自己的直觉，不相信自己。后来这就成为了我们看待世界和这个世界中的自己的滤镜。

We come to rely on the opinions of others for validation, because we expect that everyone else knows better than we do. And the more we get validation from others, the more we seek it. It becomes an addiction. When we are validated by someone else, it triggers our psycho-biological reward system releasing dopamine into the brain. We feel good. We feel accepted. We want more of that feeling.

我们开始用别人的看法去证实，因为我们认为别人都比自己更懂。我们从别人那儿求证越多，就越愿意去求证，最后成为习惯。我们从别人那里获得认可后就会诱发我们的心理——生理奖励机制向大脑释放多巴胺，使我们自我感觉良好，有认同感，我们还想获得更多的这种感觉。

The rub is because we do not validate ourselves, we rarely get the validation we want from others. Or worse, we restructure our lives and the way we live in order to garner as much attention as possible. Our identity becomes lost in the quest for external validation.

受挫是因为我们不向自己寻求认可，而且很少能从他人那里获得我们所需的认可，更有甚者，我们会重建自己的生活和生活方式来尽可能获得关注，我们在寻求外界认可中迷失了自我。

If we would just validate, trust and know ourselves this cycle could be broken.

如果我们能认可自己，信赖并了解自己，就能打破这个怪圈。

（翻译：菲菲）