英语小故事第326期：A Practical Joke

On craigslist.com, a “Sheldon” wrote that he was moving. “I’m starting a new life, and I don’t want anything that reminds me of my old life,” Sheldon announced on the website. Giving his address, he invited everyone to visit his apartment on April 19 from 8 to noon: “Take whatever you want; it’s all free.”

When the real Sheldon returned from his morning shift at the hospital that day, he was surprised to find his apartment door unlocked. He was shocked to find his apartment stripped clean. I’ve been robbed, he thought. He knocked on his neighbor’s door.

Virgil told Sheldon that he had seen strangers coming and going that morning. When Virgil asked them what was going on, one said that Sheldon was giving all his belongings away. “I wish you had told me,” Virgil said. “When I went into your apartment, there was nothing good left.”

Sheldon explained that he hadn’t told Virgil about the giveaway because he hadn’t known about it himself. Virgil said that he saw Pamela inside the apartment; she seemed to be in charge of things. “My ex-girlfriend Pamela?” Sheldon asked. “My angry ex-girlfriend Pamela?”

“Ex? When did you two break up?” Virgil asked.

They had dated for two years. Pamela had left him just recently. She had seen Sheldon standing with a woman in the parking lot. Sheldon had told her it was only his coworker. “Your coworker? Is it normal for coworkers to kiss in the parking lot?” Pamela asked. Sheldon said that he wasn’t kissing his coworker. She had simply asked him to smell her breath to be sure her breath smelled okay. She had eaten garlic bread at lunch.

As Pamela stormed away, Sheldon heard her say something about getting even.