Catfish Michael McGriff The catfish(鲶鱼) have the night, but I have patience and a bucket of chicken guts. I have canned corn and shad blood. And I've nothing better to do than listen to the water's riffled dark spill into the deep eddy where a '39 Ford coupe rests in the muck-bottom. The dare growing up: to swim down with pliers for the license plates, corpse bones, a little chrome(铬) . . . But even on the clearest days, even when the river runs low and clean, you can't see it, though you can often nearly see the movement of hair. I used to move through my days as someone agreeable to all the gears clicking in the world. I was a big clumsy Yes tugged around by its collar. Yes to the mill, yes to the rain, yes to what passed for fistfights and sex, yes to all the pine boards of thought waiting around for the hammer. The catfish have the night and ancient gear oil for blood, they have a kind of greased demeanor and wet electricity that you can never boil out of them. The catfish have the night, but I have the kind of patience born of indifference and hate. Maybe the river and I share this. Maybe the obvious moon that bobs near the lip of the eddy is really a pocket watch having finally made its way downstream from what must have been a serious accident— the station wagon and its family busting the guardrail(护栏) , the steering wheel jumping into the man's chest, his pocket watch hurtling through the windshield and into the river. Wind the hands in one direction and see into the exact moment of your death. Wind them the other way and see all the tiny ways you've already died— I'm going to put this in my breast pocket just as it is. Metal heart that will catch the stray bullet in its teeth. I chum the water, I thread the barb. I feel something move in the dark. |