同时爱上两个人该怎么办
Sure, you might think that if you were truly in love with someone, you wouldn't be able to have feelings for someone else. But sometimes this can actually happen - and it can be emotionally draining, as your heart gets pulled in two directions. Though, it is worth noting the difference between lust and love, as lust might represent more physical, sexual chemistry with a partner, and it's likely to be a more immediate, short-term affair. (Here's a guide to knowing if your love is real.) 1. Slow Down "The feeling of being in love makes everything seem to feel urgent, quick-moving, and amplified. But if you're going to have to make a super tough decision here, and perhaps say goodbye to someone you feel you love - for their sake and yours, and to help ensure you make a wise decision - you really need to slow things down," he says. It's time to pump the brakes and try and take control over the overwhelming, intoxicating emotion you feel. Additionally, the act of trying to slow things down with the people you love will have some perks: it'll help you parse out any residual confusion you may be experiencing between the emotions of lust and love, he explains. 2. Pick One Sure, this might be tough, as you'll want to spend as much time with these two people as possible, but you can't keep both around. Sad but true - you can't have it all, here (unless that's something you all agree upon!). "Without a doubt, maintaining a true, loving relationship requires a heavy investment of time, heart, money, and attention, and these things are finite. And even if the people you love right now are happy with you, do realize that relationships are not frozen in stone, and they may need 'more' from you in the future," he says. So, even if it's fine being with two people right now, that can easily change. And, it's almost impossible to be open with both of the people you're in love with about your polyamorous feelings, so even if one of your SOs says they're "cool" with you being in love with other people at the same time, the odds are that jealousy will appear in the relationship. |