特朗普的总统当选演讲（纯属想象）

爱思英语编者按：如果特朗普当选了美国总统，他的当选演讲大概就是长下面这个样子吧！

Donald Trump’s victory speech
Election night, 8 November 2016
Mar-a-Lago Club, Palm Beach, Florida
特朗普胜利演讲
2016年11月8日，大选夜
佛罗里达棕榈滩玛尔拉格俱乐部

Thank you! Thank you all! This is beautiful! You’re amazing people! Amazing! I love you all!
谢谢！谢谢大家！太漂亮了！你们是了不起的人民！了不起啊！我爱你们！

Can you believe this? Great evening. We will be celebrating for a long time tonight. Of course if you listen to the pundits, we weren’t expected to win.
你们相信吗？这个伟大的夜晚。今晚我们会彻夜庆祝。当然，如果你听那些书呆子的，我们不会赢。

We won with evangelicals. We won with young. We won with old. We won with highly educated. We won with poorly educated. I love the poorly educated.
我们赢得了福音派，赢得了年轻人，赢得了老年人，赢得了受教育的，赢下了没文化的。我就爱没文化的。

It’s so great to be in Florida. It’s so great to be at Mar-a-Lago with friends and the press and the media and everybody.
在佛罗里达真棒。在玛尔拉格俱乐部与朋友、报社、媒体和所有人在一起真棒。

What a turnout! They have 6,000 people outside that can’t get in. The press will never report how many people are here. They’re horrible people. Absolutely dishonest. Absolute scum.
来的人真多啊！外边还有六千多口进不来。搞新闻的永远不会说这里有多少人。他们都够讨厌，毫无诚信，绝对的渣滓。

I’ll be the greatest unifier of all! My wife is always saying, “Darling, be more presidential”. I can be more presidential than anybody!
我将是最伟大的统一者。我媳妇总说：“亲~再多一点总统范儿。”我可以比所有人都更有总统范儿。

Everything that’s been involved in Hillary has been losses. She was favored to win and she got schlonged!
有关希拉里的一切都是败笔。她曾受宠，如今被干爆了。

According to Drudge, according to Time Magazine, I won every single debate on every single poll. If I acted presidential, I guarantee you I wouldn’t be here.
Drudge杂志说了，时代周刊也说了，每一个民调都显示，我赢了每一场辩论。我要是总统范儿，保证没有今天。

We’re being laughed at all over the world. So our country needs a truly great leader. I’m going to represent our country with dignity very, very well. I’m a solid, stable person. I’m a man of great achievement. I went to an Ivy League school. I’m like a really smart person.
全世界都在嘲笑我们，我们的国家需要真正伟大的领袖。我将非常非常有尊严地代表我们国家。我是个踏实可信的人。我是个鸿途大展的男人。我上了常青藤学校。我就想个真正的聪明人。

I don’t have to brag. I don’t have to, believe it or not.
我没必要吹牛，我没必要，爱信不信吧。

I built an empire. I own some of the greatest assets in the world. I built up a net worth of much more than $10bn. I have never gone bankrupt, or close. But I use the bankruptcy laws, but so does everybody else. Nobody knows the banking system better than me.
我建立了一个帝国，我拥有世界上一些最伟大的资产。我缔造了价值超过100亿美元的网络。我从来没破产，没关门。可我会用破产法，可每个人都是这样。没人比我更了解银行系统。

I understand business better than anyone that’s ever run. We sell water. We sell steaks. And by the way, you want to take one; we charge you about, what, 50 bucks a steak. We make the finest wine as good a wine as you can get in the world. Everything I’ve done virtually has been a success. I’m the most successful person ever to run for president.
我比所有做过生意的人都更懂行。我卖水，我卖牛排。顺便说一句，你要想卖牛排，我们收你大概50美刀一块。我们生产世界上你能买到的最好的红酒。我干什么什么灵，我是竞选总统者当中最成功的人。

I have a great temperament, very calm. The doctor said: “You have the blood pressure of a great, great athlete who’s 20 years old.” I get along with everybody.
我脾气也好，非常冷静。医生说：“你的血压和20岁的一个很棒很棒的运动员一样。”我和大家都处得来。

[Commotion on the ballroom floor]
[大厅里发生骚动]

Get him out of here! Get him out! I’d like to punch him in the face! These people; where do they come from? Go home to mommy! Go home to mommy!
把他给我弄出去！弄出去！我要迎面胖揍他！这些个人，从哪来冒出来的？滚回家找你娘去！滚回家找你娘去！

[Security escort protester from the ballroom while the crowd chants: USA! USA! USA!]
[安保将抗议者架出大厅，群众大喊：美利坚！美利坚！美利坚！]

Hey, do we love our police in this country?
哼，你爱这个国家的警察吗？

Our people take care of our people, right?
我们的人民照看我们的人民，对不对？

The biggest story in all of politics worldwide right now, and I think you might agree to this, is what’s happened. Millions and millions of people have come to the Republican Party. Folks, I’m a conservative but at this point, who cares?
当下所有世界政治最重要的故事，我想你们都会同意，就是刚刚发生的事。成百万上千万的人投奔了共和党。伙计们，我是个保守主义者，讲真，谁在乎这个？

I want to thank my family, Melania, my boys Eric and Don. Ivanka and Jared. I want to thank my boy Barron.
我想谢谢我的家人，Melania，我的儿子Eric和Don。Ivanka和Jared。我还要谢谢我的儿子Barron。

[He forgets to mention daughter Tiffany, daughter of his second ex-wife Marla Maples.]
[他忘记提女儿Tiffany，第二个妻子Maria Maples的女儿]

I have so many friends up here. They are special, special people. Carl Icahn endorsed me. Chris Christie and Sarah Palin and Jerry Falwell Jr. Mike Tyson endorsed me. Bobby Knight was unbelievable. Sheriff Joe Arpaio. Nobody has seen anything like it.
现场的朋友真不少啊，他们都是很特别很特别的人。Carl Icahn支持我，Chris Christie支持我，Sarah Palin和小Jerry Falwell、Mike Tyson支持我。Bobby Knight真是没想到啊。Joe Arpaio市政官。没人见过这阵势。

So here’s the story, we have to be cheerleaders. I want to do something that’s going to make our country feel good. We’re like a third world country. Our whole system is badly, badly broken. If we don’t fix it we’re not going to have a country anymore. Our military is a disaster.
就是这个故事，我们都成了啦啦队。我想做些事，让我们的国家感觉更好。我们现在像个第三世界国家。我们的整个体系简直稀巴烂。如果不修理，我们就国将不国了。我们的军队简直是一场灾难。

Our healthcare is a horror show. Common Core is a total disaster. We can’t continue to allow China to rape our country. It’s the greatest theft in the history of the world.
我们的医保是一场恐怖秀，教育标准是一场彻底的灾难。我们不能再让中国强奸我们国家了。它是世界历史上最大的贼。

When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. We either have a country or we don’t.
Who’s going to pay for the wall?
墨西哥送人来，竟然不送最好的。他们带来毒品，他们带来犯罪，他们是强奸犯。我们要不还算个国家，要不连国也别要了。谁来为修长城付钱？

[Crowd] Mexico!
[群众] 墨西哥！

Who?
谁？

[Crowd] Mexico!
[群众] 墨西哥！

The wall will go up and Mexico will start behaving!
建起了长城，墨西哥就乖了。

The best taco bowls are made in Trump Tower Grill. I love Hispanics! They love me! I love them! Everybody loves me!
最棒的塔科沙拉的特朗普大厦烤吧做的。我爱拉美裔人！他们爱我！我爱他们！所有人都爱我！

So I bring people together. I have a great relationship with African Americans, as you possibly have heard. I just have great respect for them. And they like me. I don’t have a racist bone in my body.
因此我让人团结！我和非裔美国人关系很棒，你们可能听说了。我很尊敬他们！他们喜欢我。我身体内没有种族主义的血液。

Believe it or not, I have a lot of friends that are Muslim. I want mosques surveilled. We’re allowing people to come into this country that we have absolutely no idea who they are, where they come from. We’re going to straighten it out folks. I love the Muslims.
不管你信不信，我有许多朋友是穆斯林。我想把清真寺监控起来。我们允许我们对其毫无所知、不知道从何而来的人进入我们的国家。我们要把他们清理出去，伙计们。我爱穆斯林。

I love women. I will take care of women like nobody else can. Hillary Clinton said you shouldn’t cherish women. If Hillary can’t satisfy her husband what makes her think she can satisfy America? I do cherish women. Nobody in this country, and maybe in the history of the country, politically, was worse than Bill Clinton with women. He was a disaster.
我爱女人。我比任何人都会照顾女人。希拉里说你不要珍惜女人。如果希拉里连他丈夫都满足不了，她凭什么能满足美国？我就珍惜女人。我们国家，可能整个国家的历史上，没有谁比比尔-克林顿对女人还差。他简直了。

I will take care of women like nobody else can. Ivanka said: “Dad, you respect and love women so much but people don’t really understand how you feel.”
我比任何人都会照顾女人。Ivaka说：“爸，你太敬女人了，太爱女人了，结果人们不懂你的柔情。”

My wife said: “You know if you run, you know you’re going to win.” She’s actually very smart. Melania, say something. Go ahead, please.
我媳妇说：“你知道吗，如果你竞选，你就会赢。"她真的很灵光。Melania，来说两句。

[Melania Trump steps to the microphone and speaks]
[Melania Trump走到麦克风前说]

Congratulations to my husband, he was working very hard. And he loves you.
祝贺我老公，他很努力，他爱你。

[Trump returns to the microphone]
[特朗普回到麦克风前]

We’re tired of being the stupid people! So we will repeal and replace Obamacare with something terrific. I will be the greatest jobs president God ever created. We’re going to make great trade deals. I’m the strongest guy militarily that you could ever have. I know more about Isis than the generals do.
我们厌烦了，不愿再做蠢货了。我们要撤销奥巴马医改，来点厉害的。我是上帝创造的最棒的总统。我们要签订大贸易协定。我是你们见过的最强硬的军事者。我对伊斯兰国的了解比各位将军都多。

We’re going to have a great relationship with China; we’re going to have a great relationship with Putin. He called me “a genius”. I will get along with others, and we will have a much more stable, stable world.
我们要和中国建立伟大的关系。我们要和普京建立伟大的管理。他叫我“天才”。我和其他国家也相处得来，我们将拥有一个特别特别稳定的世界。

We are totally predictable. We tell everything. We’re sending troops. We tell them. We’re sending something else. We have a news conference. We have to be unpredictable. And we have to be unpredictable starting now!
我们太靠谱了，我们什么都说，我们派了很多部队。我们告诉他们，我们要派点别的。我们有新闻发布会。我们必须不靠谱。从现在开始，我们必须不靠谱。

When you talk about the nuclear button, the ones I’m worried about are the other people on the other side that have the nuclear. But don’t worry about me.
你们说核按钮时，我担心的是地球另一边的另一伙儿人他们有核了。别为我担心。

And finally, you will be so proud of your country again and we’ll start winning, winning winning. You’re going to say, “Mr. President, we can’t take it anymore”. And I’m going to say, ‘We’re going to win, win, win’! And we’re going to make America great again!
最后，你们会再次为你们的国家自豪，我们开始胜利、胜利、胜利。你们要说：“总统先生，我们不能再胜利了。”我要说：“我们要胜利、要胜利、要胜利。我们要让美国再次伟大。”

Look at those hands, are they small hands? I guarantee you there’s no problem.
I guarantee. My hands are fine. You know, my hands are normal. Slightly large, actually. In fact, I buy a slightly smaller than large glove, okay?
看看我这两只手，是小手吗？我保证我没的问题，我保证。我的手好着呢。你知道，我的手很正常，说实话，还有点大。告诉你，我买准大号手套，好吗？

I don’t want people to go around thinking that I have a problem.
我不想让人们胡猜，说我有问题。

Thank you very much everybody. We love you. The people of this country are absolutely amazing!
非常感谢大家，我爱你们。这个国家的人太牛了。