Final Exams -- From Children

Q: Name the four seasons.

 A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.

 A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?

 A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?

 A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?

 A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?

 A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?

 A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?

 A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes

 A: Premature death.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? e.g.abdomen.)

 A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the Borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?

 A: A small lie.

Q: What does "varicose" mean? (I do love this one.)

 A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"

 A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?'

 A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.