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Joke: The Perfect Day According To ...

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SHE 08.45 Wake up to hugs & kisses 09.00 5 pounds lighter on the scales 09.30 Light breakfast 11.00 Sunbathe 12.00 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe 01.30 Shopping 02.30 Run into boyfriend's ex, notice she's gained thirty pounds 03.00 Facial, massage and nap 05.30 Talk with mom on the phone for an hour 07.30 Candlelit dinner for two and dancing 10.00 Make love 11.00 Pillow talk in his big strong arms.

HE 10.00 Wake up 10.02 Oral Sex 10.45 Big breakfast 11.30 Drive in Ferrari with gorgeous blonde 02.15 Enormous lunch 03.00 Oral Sex 03.30 Play sport with the guys 04.00 Drink beer with the guys 06.00 Meet Claudia Schiffer 06.10 Oral Sex 08.00 Huge dinner, more beer 11.00 Full on, get down, gorilla sex 11.30 Watch late game from the West Coast

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