Funny. Short. Different.

Aspire to inspire before you expire.

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My wife and I had words, but I didn't get to use mine.

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Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.

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Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.

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The irony of life is that, by the time you're old enough to know your way around, you're not going anywhere.

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God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.

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I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to find one.

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Every morning is the dawn of a new error.

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The best computer is a man, and it's the only one that can be mass produced by unskilled labor.