《正义联盟》遭全网差评！这电影到底难看在哪？

The most entertaining scene in Justice League has absolutely no bearing on the rest of the plot: Wonder Woman detonates the bomb of some random terrorists by hurling it into the sky. Then, she methodically deflects every single bullet from a machine gun using her cuffs. It's rousing and fun in a way the rest of the movie absolutely is not.

在电影《正义联盟》里面最有意思的场景莫过于：神奇女侠引爆了几个恐怖分子身上的炸弹，并把他们用力抛向空中。然后，用自己的手镯让机关枪里射出的子弹都偏离方向。这一幕太激动人心了，而电影其他的情节却不是这样。

Wonder Woman's release over the summer left me hankering for more from Diana Prince and her Amazon sisters. Hell, I even bought a branded "Daughters of Themyscira" jacket to show just how jazzed I was.

《神奇女侠》的上映让我疯狂迷恋戴安娜·普林斯和她的亚马逊姐妹。我甚至还买了一件牌子是“天堂岛的女儿们”（Daughters of Themyscira）的夹克来显示我是多么的兴奋。

But Patty Jenkins' movie seems to exist in a magical universe divorced from the aggressively bro-y and lethargic franchise known as the DC Extended Universe, so I went into Justice League with my expectations in check. Turns out, I was right to do so.

派蒂·杰金斯像是存在于一个魔幻的世界和野心勃勃的兄弟类型还有让人昏昏欲睡的DC电影宇宙出品的电影完全不同。于是我带着这样的观点去看了电影《正义联盟》，结果证明我是正确的。

Is the movie as offensively terrible as, say, Suicide Squad? No. Nothing could ever be. Honestly, Justice League's main problem is that it's boring, and fails to convince me why I should care that "the fish man" is finally fighting alongside "the fast kid" and "the rich jerk in a bat costume" beyond the fact that they are all famous cultural properties. 是不是电影无比糟糕就像自杀小队(Suicide Squad)？

不不，那倒不至于。老实说《正义联盟》最大的问题在于很无聊，“海王”最后和“闪电侠”、“蝙蝠侠”一起并肩作战，除了他们是有名的人物，他们在一起有什么纠葛其实我一点都不关心。

It's dramatically inert, peppered with lame quips that attempt to stand in for a genuine sense of humor

整个片子看起来很无趣，几处蹩脚的笑点毫无幽默感。

Justice League—directed by Man of Steel and Batman v Superman's Zack Snyder with an assit from Joss Whedon —is largely driven by endless exposition which dully lays out why/how the heroes are going to defeat the latest bad guy.

《正义联盟》的导演就是之前导演《超人：钢铁之躯》《蝙蝠侠大战超人：正义黎明》电影的扎克·施奈德，这次还有乔斯·惠登的帮助。这次电影的主题依然是毫无新意地沿用英雄们是如何一起打败出现的大坏蛋的老梗。

The dude in question is Steppenwolf, and his thing is basically just that he's super evil. Ask me to explain anything else about him and I wouldn't be able to based on the screenplay alone. Like, uhhhhh, he also has these para-demon creatures that follow him around looking like the Wizard of Oz monkeys gone terribly wrong? He needs to collect three boxes to achieve power? He's constructed via some painfully obvious CGI work?

最大的问题就是荒原狼（Steppenwolf）这个角色，他就是个超级大反派。你要是让我说除了荧幕以外对他还了解点什么，我一无所知。他的形象完全可以在补充下，比如说他的爪牙是不是就像《绿野仙踪》中会飞的猴子误入歧途？或者他是不是需要集齐三个宝箱来获得某种超能力？或者他的诞生是因为三维动画制作中发生的一个重大失误？

Bruce Wayne (a grumbly Ben Affleck) and eventually Diana (the wonderful Gal Gadot) are clued into the threat and must recruit the hard-drinking Aquaman, the skittish Flash, and the brooding Cyborg. It takes some time—AKA an endless amount of time, AKA a little under two hours—but they eventually unite.

布鲁斯·韦恩（爱抱怨的本·阿弗莱克）最后和戴安娜（女神盖尔·加朵）发现了危险，然后必须要加入酗酒的“海王”，不淡定的闪电侠，还有话不多的钢骨来应对。这花点时间来团结这么多人，几乎用了所有电影的时间，也也就是两个小时不到一点，最后他们终于团结在一起了。

And, hey, Superman's there too! How he survived that Batman v Superman death scene would constitute a spoiler, but never-fear, he's back, as is Henry Cavill's chest hair!

还有，超人也回来了，他是怎么从《蝙蝠侠大战超人：正义黎明》逃生的，让大家猜测不已，但是没有什么好怕的了，他已经回来了，还有亨利·卡维尔（超人）的胸毛也回来了。

And if you're distracted by how strange the actor's face looks, that's because the production had to edit out a mustache he had grown before reshoots using some technical wizardry. That sloppy edit is basically a metaphor for this movie.

如果你觉得演员的脸看起来觉得有点奇怪，那是因为在重拍之前用科技手段给他们人为加了下胡子，这个草率敷衍的举动正好是这部电影最好的写照。

So, what about Wonder Woman—does she manage to save Justice League from itself? The film is seemingly aware that Diana's the emotional lynchpin of the group, but doesn't know what to do with that. It can't figure out whether the other members should treat her as a maternal figure or a sex object, so it ends up doing both.

作为神奇女侠，她的角色设定是用来拯救《正义联盟》的么？整个电影看起来戴安娜才是整个团队的核心，真心不知道这样做是何意？我也不知道其他成员是把她当成女性角色还只是性感尤物，结果是两者兼而有之。

But for all of that, it's hard to read Justice League as an insidious movie. It's just sort of a dumb one—marred by a dysfunctional cinematic universe, and actors who are in the midst of publicity crises. Skip it, or see it for Wonder Woman's scenes and sleep through the rest.

总之很难把《正义联盟》定义为阴谋片，它看起来有点无趣——也许是整体电影环境的失衡所致，而演员会陷入宣传危机。所以要么不看，要么就看只有神奇女侠出现的片段，放其他情节的时候就睡上一会儿。

（翻译：林浔鸥）