2015考研英语看图作文范例点评：父母重负下的婚礼

看图作文在英语作文中是大家普遍缺乏练习的一种类型，一个提高的方式就是看范例和点评，针对其中的错误进行自我修正。

父母重负下的婚礼:

写作原文

As is vividly betrayed in the drawing above, a newly-married couple are hugging each other happily and their parents are holding a huge amount of debt hardly. In addition, there is one sentence "Establish their own happiness on the basis of parents(改为parents'，此处应用名词所有格形式) hardship", which lighlights(拼写错误，改为highlights)that nowadays many young penple(拼写错误，改为people) are seeking for their own happiness despite their parents' feeling. So what causes this phenomenon? From my point of view, there are mainly two reasons. First, with the promotion of "Family planning(family planning两个单词若要大写，均大写；若不大写，都不大写)", many families have one child only(改为only have one child), which makes the child so spoilt that they are used to (加having，be used to doing sth.表示“习惯于做某事”)the high quality life. Second, many children has(改为have，主语为children，谓语动词用原形) the psychology of comparison(“攀比心理”改为comparing mentality较为合适), which makes them have the wish to hold a luxurious wedding ceremony.In order to solve this problem, children should develop the virtue of thrifty. As marriage is a lifetime matter, it will not be changed because of their wedding ceremony is luxurious or not.(汉语式英语，可改为A marriage is a lifetime matter, and it won’t be changed by luxurious wedding ceremony.) So they should refuse luxurious wedding ceremony. Futhermore(拼写错误，改为Furthermore), parents should not spoil their children by satisfy their all demands(改为all their demands). I think under the joint effort of parents and children, the ethos of keeping up with the joneses(改为peer comparison) will be decreased significantly

总体点评

整体来说，文章构思不错;考研作文的整体思路你已经基本掌握，但还存在一些语法错误及汉语式英语的表达。后面要做的就是巩固语法知识，多积累高分佳句并不断模仿，弱化汉语思维对英语写作的影响，并为自己的文章增彩;再者，写完之后一定要认真检查，减少失分点。

参考分数(满分20分)：12

英语写作水平的提升需要不断地练习，在改正错误中不断取得进步，不怕犯错误，怕明知道犯错误却不面对。看了范文和点评，希望大家有思考，有提高。