离婚前你应该知道这些事
Now that I'm nearing the end of the divorce process (it's a marathon - not a sprint!), I'm starting to reflect on the things I wish I had known before getting a divorce period. I don't think there is any real book to prepare you for divorce, as each person's experience is so unique. But as you're headed down the aisle - that's the court aisle - of divorce, there are some things it wouldn't hurt to know as you sever your formerly "forever" relationship. 1. How It Would Affect My Toddler My daughter was just turning 3 when her dad and I split, and no matter how often I googled toddlers and divorce, there wasn't a ton of information on how she might be affected by the experience. I ended up pushing for her to try play therapy, and when my ex agreed, we had her attend for a while. It was the best choice to make, but it would have been great had I known of the potential issues she might have had and the ways to help our child through it ahead of time. The reality is no one can predict how a divorce will impact your kids. 2. Don't Use Friends Don't use friends for legal advice - meaning, don't hire a friend to handle the divorce even though your friend will cut you a break financially. My ex and I started out this way, and the friend was truly lovely and magnanimous at heart to want to help two broke people divorce, but we ended up switching counsel (to mediators) for various reasons. It's been 20 months, and it's still not final. Lesson learned! 3. Make It Clear Our mediator now was shocked when he saw our divorce agreement. Everything was completely vague and open to interpretation. No, no, no! Don't do it! It doesn't matter if you and your ex are cosy now, because down the line, you may not be. Have everything written in detail, and leave no topics untouched, especially when there are children involved. Too much vague language in your divorce agreement can kill you later on. |