你和另一半是超级亲密还是相互依赖
Signs you're in a codependent relationship Sharing a tight bond with your partner is a wonderful thing, especially if you spend time doing activities you both get a kick out of and are on the same page in terms of values and goals. But there is such a thing as being too closely connected to the point that it hurts you and your relationship in the long run. It's called codependency, which means you're too encapsulated in your significant other—dependent on them for approval and a self-esteem boost and always allowing their emotions and actions to take the lead and influence your own. Codependency can be defined as "an unhealthy, dysfunctional, or dangerous reliance on another person," says Andrea Miller, author of Radical Acceptance: The Secret to Happy, Lasting Love. "I think of it as a relationship that’s characterized by scarcity and fear over love." While it's normal to want your partner's support and feel certain that what you two have is unique and special, people who are codependent need validation all the time. A codependent relationship can be one where both partners have this dysfunctional reliance on the other, or it can be totally one-sided, with only one person looking to the other, who may actually like having so much control. If you think you might be the codependent one, this expert-backed checklist will help you figure it out. (And if any apply to your partner, they might be codependent on you.) You’re afraid to make decisions on your own If you feel a need to have your partner weigh in on every aspect of your life, from when you should hang out with your friends to whether you should go for a promotion at your workplace, it could mean you're codependent. "You shouldn’t not listen to how your partner feels, but if at the end of the day you can't consider anything without their agreement, then you may be too dependent," Gail Saltz, MD, a New York City–based psychiatrist, tells Health. While committed relationships require compromise from time to time, finding yourself anxious about making a decision without you partner's input could mean you're insecure about your own judgment. Instead of trusting what you think is right, you go with what your partner says or wants. |