毒舌解析英国人的圣诞委婉语
一本正经、彬彬有礼的英国人从来也不会直抒胸臆,在圣诞节期间更是如此。虽然表面一团和气,但如果你get不到他们的言下之意,你可能无意之中就变成了“二货”。来看看《每日电讯报》对英国人圣诞委婉语的“毒舌”翻译。 They say: “Darling, your Nativity Play was a triumph. I’m so proud.” They mean: “I spent the entire shambolic production seething that you weren’t one of the leads and shall be having a stern word with your teacher. Also, I couldn’t tell which sheep you were.” “Pop round anytime.” “Preferably text first so we can make up an excuse.” “So what are your Christmas plans?”/“All ready for Christmas?” “I can’t think of anything else to say and this is December’s equivalent of weather smalltalk. Please keep the answer mercifully brief because I’m not actually interested.” “What’s this we’re watching?” “I hate it when you Philistines are in charge of the remote.” “Town was a nightmare. The shops were rammed.” “I snuck off to the pub.” “Well done, children. The Christmas tree looks gorgeous.” “It’s a total mess which offends my eyes. I’ll redecorate it when you go to bed.” “Secret Santa’s just a bit of fun.” “It’s no fun whatsoever. We only persist with this lame, universally loathed tradition for fear of being called a killjoy if we stop.” “Merry Christmas to you and yours.” “I can’t remember your family’s names. Or indeed, whether you even have a family. Ah, well. Sue me.” “Of course! The more the merrier.” “Please don’t come.” “I’ve kept the receipt, just in case.” “If you don’t love this gift and wear it immediately, I’m going to be mortally offended.” “That’s so thoughtful. It’s exactly what I wanted.” “I hate it, I’m having trouble arranging my face into an approximation of gratitude and everyone can tell I’m lying.” “Shall we play a board game?” “Shall we have a blazing family argument?” “Christmas is about the kids really, isn’t it?” “Can’t stand the spoilt, entitled little brats. Pass the brandy.” “You look festive.” “You look drunk.” “I couldn’t eat another thing.” “Oh go on, then. I could just about squeeze in a turkey-and-a-stuffing sandwich, cheese and biscuits, two mince pies and several dozen Quality Street.” “Lunch might be a little later than planned.” “The turkey won’t cook and I’m having a nervous breakdown.” “Where’s your Christmas spirit?” “I’m a tedious kidult who gets over-excited about Christmas (probably over-compensating for some long-buried childhood trauma) and insists on enforced jollity.” “Have a good one.” “I don’t know who you are. Go away.” “I’m hoping for a White Christmas. It’s so magical.” “Snow’s a colossal pain in the backside but I’m trying to sound romantic.” “Of course we’re going to church. It’s important at this time of year.” “I don’t want to go either but Mum will get upset if we don’t.” “That’s perfect, thank you. Looks delicious.” “Too many sprouts, not enough pigs-in-blankets, but better be polite.” “Look what they got me!” “You think of something nice to say, because I can’t.” “I’ve got an upset tummy from all the rich food.” “I’ve got an upset tummy from all the binge-drinking.” “Thought I might go out for a walk.” “If I have to stay cooped up in the house with my relatives for one minute longer, I’m going to commit a hate crime.” |