为什么你说话没人听?无非就是犯了这七个毛病!
说话着实是门技术活。 有些人说话让人听着总是那么舒服,而自己说话的时候,明明是激情澎湃、肺腑之言,朋友却经常对其置若罔闻。 这大概就是“会说话”和“不会说话”的区别了。 今天就一起来研究一下说话的艺术,如何赋予语言力量(how to speak powerfully)并且让声音真正成为我们人类独有的乐器。 说话的“七宗罪” 英国声音专家Julian Treasure通过自己的生活经验,发现了在生活中我们常犯的、并且应该努力避免(move away from)的7个说话上的错误,这就是说话的七宗罪(seven deadly sins of speaking)。 ❶ Gossip 流言蜚语 Speaking ill of someone who is not present. It's not a nice habit but we know perfectly well, the person gossiping, five minutes later, will be gossiping about us. speak ill of:说……的坏话 ❷ Judging 评头论足 We know people who are like this in conversation and it's very hard to listen to somebody if you know you are being judged and found wanting at the same time. ❸ & ❹ negativity and complaining 消极与抱怨 It's the national art of the UK. We complain about the weather, sport, about politics, about everything, but actually complaining is viral misery. It's not spreading sunshine and lightness in the world. viral:病毒性的 ❺ Excuses借口 We've all met this guy. Maybe we've all been this guy. Some people have a blamethrower. They just pass it to everybody else and don't take the responsibility for their actions, and again, hard to listen to someone who is being like that. blamethrower: 指责他人的倾向 ❻ Lying 撒谎与欺骗 For example, if I see something is really awesome, what do I call it? And then, the exaggeration becomes lying to us. exaggeration:夸张 ❼ Dogmatism 固执己见 The confusion of facts with opinions. When those two things get conflated, you are listening to the wind. You know somebody is bombarding you with their opinions as if they were true. It's difficult to listen to that. conflate: 结合,合并 bombard sb with sth:向…大量提供信息 上面说的这些说话的7个坏习惯,你中招了没?如果中招的话,需要改善了噢。 说话的艺术 Julian之后又阐述了4个打造powerful speaking的基础(cornerstone),他将其称为HAIL原则,当然啦,这里不是冰雹的意思,而是四个单词首字母的组合。 Being honest means being clear and straightforward. Authenticity means standing in your own truth. Integrity refers to acting what you say. Love means wishing people well. 诚实与爱的关系非常有趣。Julian说: “Tempered with love, honesty can be a great thing.” 声音品质的提升 最后,Julian向大家奉献了一个工具箱(A toolbox),可以通过一下几个方面提声音的品质。 Register: a deeper voice from the chest speaks with more power and authority. Timbre: how the voices feels or sounds — distinct from tone or loudness. Prosody: the sing-song or up and down of the movement. Pace: a rapid pace, then slowing down for emphasis. Or just pausing occasionally can be powerful. Pitch: a higher pitch can make you sound more excited. Volume: quiet to make people pay attention, louder can also show excitement. No engine works well without being warmed up. 而我们的话语也是如此,没有经过预热、训练和力量的声音也难以传达出预期的效果。 最后,Julian提出了自己关于说话者,听话者与环境之间的美好构想。 他希望可以通过说话人有意识地避开不良的说话习惯,赋予语言力量;听话人有意识地倾听以及促进交谈的环境的建构,创造一个美丽的沟通世界。在那里,理解将会是常态(Understanding will be the norm)。 希望你可以有所收获,掌握说话的技巧。俗语说: 良药苦口利于病,忠言逆耳利于行。 但是谁说忠言就一定逆耳呢,避开7个错误,整理好4种情感,培养自己的声音品质,就一定会使自己的声音充满力量却又不失温暖。 |