GRE考试作文点评：6分范文的构架

SCORING GUIDE FOR PRESENT YOUR PERSPECTIVE ON AN ISSUE

GRE ESSAY SCORING GUIDE: PERSPECTIVE ON AN ISSUE SCORE

6 A 6 paper presents a cogent, well-articulated analysis of the complexities of the issue and demonstrates mastery of the elements of effective writing.

满分作文的标准：表现出对语言的把握(mastery)，对题目的深刻理解(complexities)，并且cogent.

A typical paper in this category

--develops a position(看到了吗，a position，要选取一个角度) on the issue with insightful reasons and/or persuasive examples (看到OR了吗，所以没有例子也可以，如果你可以congent并且给出非常insightful的理由。)

--sustains a well-focused, well-organized discussion(关于文章结构的要求)

--expresses ideas clearly and precisely

--uses language fluently, with varied sentence structure and effective vocabulary (关于语言的要求的，你对语言的mastery就应该从这几个方面体现出来)

--demonstrates superior facility with the conventions (grammar, usage, and mechanics) of standard written English but may have minor flaws(这个minor flaws是建立在不影响理解的基础之上。)

1--Topic: Generalists vs. Specialists

Present your perspective on the issue below, using relevant reasons and/or examples to support your views.

"In our time, specialists of all kinds are highly overrated. We need more generalists -- people who can provide broad perspectives."

SAMPLE-1 (score:6)

In this era of rapid social and technological change leading to increasing life complexity and psychological displacement, both positive and negative effects among persons in Western society call for a balance in which there are both specialists and generalists.

这一段非常干净利索的引出来题目的theme: specialist and generalist这个就是general statement。一些朋友拿文章出来修改的时候我经常发现没有一个引子，一个general statement。缺少这个部分的文章是得不到高分的.

Specialists are necessary insgroupsto allow society as a whole to properly and usefully assimilate the masses of new information and knowledge that have come out of research and have been widely disseminated through mass global media.肯定了specialist的必要性。句式不错，几个定语从句套在一起。As the head of Pharmacology at my university once said (and I paraphrase):"I can only research what I do because there are so many who have come before me to whom I can turn for basic knowledge. It is only because of each of the narrowly focussed individuals at each step that a full and true understanding of the complexities of life can be had. Each person can only hold enough knowledge to add one small rung to the ladder, but together we can climb to the moon." This illustrates the point that our societies level of knowledge and technology is at a stage in which there simply must be specialists insgroupsfor our society to take advantage of the information available to us.

Simply put, without specialists, our society would find itself bogged down in the Sargasso sea of information overload. (Figurative expression。) While it was fine for early physicists to learn and understand the few laws and ideas that existed during their times, now, no one individual can possibly digest and assimilate all of the knowledge in any given area.

阐述的很清楚，语言也很简单

On the other hand, Over specialization means narrow focii in which people can lose the larger picture.

这个句子一看就知道快要引出另外一个主角—generalist了，这个主题句是对过度专业化的一个否定。

No one can hope to understand the human body by only inspecting one's own toe-nails. What we learn from a narrow focus may be internally logically coherent but may be irrelevant or fallacious within the framework of a broader perspective. Further, if we inspect only our toe-nails, we may conclude that the whole body is hard and white. Useful conclusions and thus perhaps useful inventions must come by sharing among specialists. Simply throwing out various discovieries means we have a pile of useless discoveries, it is only when one can make with them a mosaic that we can see that they may form a picture.

Not only may over-specialization be dangerous in terms of the truth, purity and cohesion of knowledge, but it can also serve to drown moral or universall issues.

出现了generalist开始展开并且将二者结合讨论了Generalists and only generalists can see a broad enough picture to realize and introduce to the world the problems of the environment. With specialization, each person focusses on their research and their goals. Thus, industrialization, expansion, and new technologies are driven ahead. Meanwhile no individual can see the wholisitc view of our global existence in which true advancement may mean stifling individual specialists for the greater good of all.

Finally, over-specialization in a people's daily lives and jobs has meant personal and psychological compartmentalization. People are forcedsintospigeon holes early in life (at least by university) and must conciously attempt to consume external forms of stimuli and information insgroupsnot to be lost in their small and isolated universe. Not only does this make for narrowly focussed and generally pooprly-educated individuals, but it guarantees a sense of loss of community, often followed by a feeling of psychological displacement and personal dissatisfaction.

讲完了对overspecialization社会的坏处开始讲对individual引起的不好的地方了。用了METAPHOR，很形象

Without generalists, society becomes inward-looking and eventually inefficient. Without a society that recongnizes the impotance of braod- mindedness and fora for sharing generalities, individuals become isolated. Thus, while our form of society necessitates specialists, generalists are equally important. Specialists drive us forward in a series of thrusts while generalists make sure we are still on the jousting field and know what the stakes are.

再次结合讨论并且陈述二者结合起来的意义。

ETS打的分数是6分，下面我们来看看ETS对这个文章的评语。

COMMENTARY

This is an outstanding response -- insightful, well reasoned, and highly effective in its use of language. The introductory paragraph announces the writer's position on the issue and provides the context within which the writer will develop that position: "In this era of rapid social and technological change leading to increasing life complexity and psychological displacement"

先肯定了文章的结构和表述。well-reasoned highly effective

The argument itself has two parts. The first part presents a compelling case for specialization, primarily in the field of medicine. The second part presents an equally compelling, well-organized case against overspecialization based on three main reasons:

-- logical (narrowly trained specialists often fail to understand the whole)

-- moral (usually generalists understand what is needed for "the greater good")

-- personal (specializing/pigeonholing too early can be psychologically damaging)

The argument's careful line of reasoning is further strengthened by the skillful use of expert testimony (quotation from a prominent medical researcher) and vivid metaphor (to inspect only one's toenails is to ignore the whole body).

肯定了其中的引言以及比喻的运用。

It is not only the reasoning that distinguishes this essay. The language is precise and often figurative ("bogged down in a Sargasso sea of information overload," "a pile of useless discoveries," and "specialists drive us forward in a series of thrusts, while generalists make sure we are still on the jousting field"). The reader is constantly guided through the argument by transitional phrases and ideas that help organize the essay and move the argument forward.这个评语大家要注意。This is an exceptionally fine response to the topic.

文章简单到这里就结束了，说说我个人的看法。其实这个文章写的很朴实，简单。并算不上非常的精彩，我们以前每日一评所点评过的文章比这个好的有几篇呢。但是，这个文章写的很紧扣主题，没有废话，直来直去，虽然有部分的语法错误，但是不影响对文章的整体理解跟了前面范文点评的朋友是不是有种感觉：这样的文章也算了满分？确实。这个标准说高也高说低也低，其实并不难达到的。

自己平时可以拿自己的文章和这些ETS打好分数的文章比较然后相对的给自己估一个分数出来。一些朋友以前总是问，你们的每日一评的分数是瞎打出来的吧？错，不是，就是根据ETS的这个标准来的，而且我们的要更严格。这个大家看以前的蛋蛋的和我做的点评就看的出来了。这样满分的文章并不难写，大家多努力，跟ETS的标准多靠近多注意文章的一定要COGENT并且WELL-RESONED而且要围绕中心。否则，语言再好也难拿高分。