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On the Differences and Similarities of Marriage between China and America
摘 要
古今中外, 人的本性都是一样的, 都有七情六欲, 都表现喜怒哀乐, 都产生爱与恨的心理。但由于地理环境、历史背景、发展过程及其他方面的不同, 各个民族又各有其特性。与具有五千多年悠久历史的中华民族相比, 美利坚民族仅仅走完二百多年的历史征程, 中美文化自然会有相去千里的个性。美国社会张扬“个性”, 重视个人的权益和自由; 而中国社会注重伦理生活, 注重人与人之间的相互依存关系。其中较能体现中美民族文化特性的婚姻观念在中美文化中都占有一定的比重。从对比中可以发现中美婚姻观念有其特有的异同之处，对进一步分析中美文化有着重要的意义。诚然, 随着社会的发展和中西文化的交流融合, 人们对中美婚姻的认识也在发生着某些细微的变化。但是根本的观念仍然未变, 因为一个民族要想长存于世, 不但要有适应时代潮流的能力和与其他民族共存共荣的心胸和气魄, 而且更重要的是坚持自己文化的根本, , 保持自己社会的特色。
本文旨在对中美婚姻的异同进行研究。一种婚姻模式的形成源于多种因素，毫无疑问，文化是其中最重要的一个方面。本文从跨文化的角度来探讨婚姻差异背后的文化因素。通过对造成婚姻差异因素的深刻理解，作者展开对文化融合问题的进一步讨论。
全文共分为四个部分，第一部分是对婚姻的概述。通过对婚姻的定义、作用的简单阐述来对婚姻作一个叙述。第二部分是对中美婚姻相似点与不同点以及婚姻中美文化交融的论述。通过对中美婚姻的对比分析，揭示存在的相似点和不同点及文化融合现象。第三部分阐述了中美婚姻存在差异的原因。通过对中美文化的比较，透析中美婚姻存在差异的原因。第四部分，总结全文。本文重点是对中美婚姻异同进行系统研究。
关键字：婚姻；文化融合；传统；观念
Contents
Ⅰ.Introduction……………………………………………………………………...…1
Ⅱ.The Similarities and Differences of Marriage between China and America……….1
2.1 The Similarities of Marriage between China and America……………………2
2.1.1 A Dinner in Honour of Relatives and Friends………………………….2
2.1.2 The Pursuit of Love…………………………………………………….2
2.1.3 Husbands’ Pressure……………………………………………………..2
2.1.4 Consuming Concept……………………………………………………2
2.2 The Differences of Marriage between China and America……………………2
2.2.1 Engagement……………………………………….……………………3
2.2.1.1 Engagement in China………………………………………….3
2.2.1.2 Engagement in America………………………………………3
2.2.2 The Differences of Wedding Objective………………………………...3
2.2.3 Clothing………………………………………………………………...4
2.2.4 Music………………………………………………………...…………4
2.2.5 The Sense Family……………………………………………………………..5
2.2.6 The Education of the Children………………………………………….........5
2.2.7 Views on Divorce………………………………………………………5
2.2.7.1 Rare Divorce in Ancient China………………………………..6
2.2.7.2 Rare Divorce in Traditional America………………………….7
2.3 The Cultural Combination through Chinese and American Marriage….……..7#p#分页标题#e#
2.3.1Wedding dress…………………………………………………………………..8
2.3.2 Church Wedding………………………………………………….….....9
2.3.3 Honeymoon…………………………………………….…………........9
2.3.4 Civilization Marriage in China………………………………………..10
Ⅲ. Reasons of the Differences in Marriage Cultures between China and America…11
3.1 Gender Roles of Marriage in Traditional America and Ancient……………..11
3.1.1 Traditional Roles of Wife in Ancient China………………….……….11
3.1.2 Traditional Roles of Husband in America…………………………….13
3.2 The Effect of Educational Traditions……………………………………..….13
3.3 Influences of Economical Factors in Marriage ……………………………...14
3.3.1 Affluent Economy in China…………………………………………..14
3.3.2 Affluent Economy in America………………………………………..14
3.4 Tolerance Levels……………………………………………………………...15
3.4.1 Better Ability of Tolerance in Chinese Marriage……………………..15
3.4.2 Less Marriage Tolerance in America………………………………….15
Ⅳ.Conclusion………………………………………………………………………..15
Bibliography………………………………………………………………………….17 I. Introduction
Marriage as a human institution exists in all major civilizations since the dawn of time. The Mystery of Holy Matrimony draws its sacred foundation from the creation of the first man and woman, whom God made in His own Image and Likeness and told to be fruitful and multiply? In Orthodox tradition, marriage and monasticism goes hand in hand, and are both considered holy in its calling in the service of God and His People.
Most weddings contain wedding vows and a proclamation of marriage, usually by the officiant. Most weddings also involve wearing traditional clothes (i.e., kilts, white gown, red sari, etc.). A wedding is often followed or accompanied by a wedding reception.
Other elements may include music, poetry, prayer or scripture. Some elements of the traditional Western wedding ceremony symbolize the bride's departure from her father’s control and entry into a new family with her husband. In modern Western weddings, this symbolism is largely vestigial.
The common element in a wedding is the assumption of husband and wife roles as well as the roles of the future parents. The wedding is a special moment that marks the beginning of a new generation, a new family and a life together. This moment is recognized with traditions, ceremonies and rituals including engagement and wedding ceremonies.
II. The Similarities and Differences of Marriage between China and America
There are many similarities in marriage cultures between China and America. Who all give a dinner in honour of relatives, husbands all have heavier pressure than wives, and they all love each other very much.
Westerners of marriage with the Chinese concept of marriage are also extremely different. Because they believe that: marriage is purely private matter, no one can interfere at the same time the marriage does not belong moral issues. The right to choose a person and his / her favorite people to live together once found that the existing marriage is a mistake, he / she shall have a second choice. If one of the couple fell in love with a third party, by any party will not be condemned. In their view: forced two people who do not live together in love is cruel. China’s traditional concept of marriage, happiness can give their life. In Western eyes, love is love, is very simple.#p#分页标题#e# 2.1 The Similarities of Marriage between China and America
Almost every culture has rituals to signal a change in one’s life. Marriage is one of the most basic life changes for people of all cultures. So it’s no surprise to find many similarities traditions about getting married, even in China and America.
2.1.1 A Dinner in Honour of Relatives and Friends
They are very generous carefully at the invitation of their arrival.
2.1.2 The Pursuit of Love
Give parents the freedom of choice at the same time, the consequences of choosing to provide evidence that they provide special attention choose friend, betrothal, marriage the consequences of such choices, entirely too many children that first impression or intuitive act. Parents encourage their children to “put into action”, “do it”, “to try,” and believe in practice to shorten the distance between cognition and behavior.
2.1.3 Husbands’ Pressure
Men do not need to exchange ideas is not, but they are more willing to exchange and male friends, so that women are not strong woman, the man threatened. Chinese men need display of their own powerful in the face of these women, women need to be respected, so it must be a woman than his low. China in the failure of men, they need for a woman’s comfort.
2.1.4 Consuming Concept
Owing to the modern simple wedding forms, in the modern days, many young people try to skip most of these rituals or ceremonies. They do that either because they think that new generations should not be confined by these old traditions or some do so just because of economical reasons of trying not to spend as much money as possible. They think the expending will be paid on a better place in the future life. From a long-eye angle, it is an economic method. For example, the new couple can have a sweet moon travel with it, etc..
2.2 The Differences of Marriage between China and America
“Custom is the great guide of human life”, wrote Scottish philosopher David Hume. Knowing the customs of a country is, in effect, a guide to understanding the soul of that country and its people. As a foreign language leaner, we should know the culture in our target language’s country. Only in this way, we can really learn the language well.
People express their culture through traditions in food, clothing, recreation, and ceremonies; through the education system and institutions of learning, including museums and libraries; and through the arts, encompassing the visual, literary, and performing arts. As a result, we will talk about the differences from some aspects. 2.2.1 Engagement
No matter which part of the country, to a happy marriage is a lover at their engagement ceremony is a process to go through. However, due to various reasons, and there are China and the United States engaged in more different.
2.2.1.1 Engagement in China
Before getting married, young people have to pay a formal visit to each other’s parents. When visiting the girl’s parents, the boy has to bring with him the betrothal gifts in order to show sincerity. When the gifts are received, then both the boy and the girl are engaged. When the girl visits the boy’s parents, the parents have to prepare a formal gift for the future daughter-in-law.
2.2.1.2 Engagement in America
Traditionally, a young man asks the father of his sweetheart for permission to marry her. If the father agrees, the man latter proposes to her. Often he tries to surprise her by “popping the question” in a romantic way. Sometimes the couple just decides together that the time is right to get married. The man usually gives his fiancée a diamond ring as a symbol of their engagement. They may be engaged for weeks, months or even years. As the big day approaches, bridal showers and bachelor’s parties provide many useful gifts. Today many couples also receive counseling during engagement. This prepares them for the challenges of married life.
2.2.2 The Differences of Wedding Objective
In the Chinese ancient times, the people thought that they wanted to get an heir through wedding and raise the clan’s reputation. If a man wants to marriage with a woman, he must obey with his father and mother, because the wedding is an important thing for the man’s family. Therefore, the man would get marriage with a woman, but he did not love her.
In the western, the marriage is private thing. Man and Woman will marry, because they love each other. 2.2.3 Clothing
Instead of the typical white color used in western cultures signifying purity, Chinese and even Russian bridal attire has been traditionally red. The prominent use of red is evident in Chinese culture for any joyful festivities while white is used in memorials and funerals denoting death. In Orthodoxy, red denotes martyrdom and any union between a man and a woman is a true martyrdom or death of the self for the love of one spouse and for Christ. As the ceremony begins, you may follow along beginning on pg. 166 in the Red Service Book found in the pew.#p#分页标题#e#
2.2.4 Music
Music is an essential part of marriage in both China and America, all of this, and not all the same.
Music often played at western weddings includes a processional song for walking down the aisle (ex: Wedding March) and reception dance music.
Music played at Western weddings includes:
1. The “Bridal Chorus” from Lohengrin by Richard Wagner, often used as the processional and commonly known as “Here Comes the Bride” - Note: Richard Wagner is said to have been Anti-Semitic, and as a result, the Bridal Chorus is often not used at Jewish weddings.
2. Johann Pachelbel’s Canon in D is often used as an alternative processional.
3. The “Wedding March” from Felix Mendelssohn's incidental music for the Shakespeare play, A Midsummer Night’s Dream, often used as a recessional.
4. The “Toccata” from Charles-Marie Widor’s Symphony for Organ No.5, also used as a recessional.
5. Segments of the Ode to Joy, the fourth movement of Ludwig van Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony, sometimes make appearances at weddings; its message of unity is suitable for the occasion.
6. At wedding receptions, Der Ententanz, a 1950s Swiss Oom-pah song known more commonly in America as The Chicken Dance, has become a popular part of the reception dance music.
Chinese music plays an important role in creating a happy, friendly environment during the wedding ceremony. A band of musicians with gongs and flute-like instruments accompanies the bride parade to groom's home. Similar music is also played at the wedding banquet. 2.2.5 The Sense Family
In the West, people have not been what the shackles of traditional moral values, therefore, a marriage without love, come to an end. In China, because of various reasons, even if there is no love marriage, but also continue to exist because of marriage there are many things.
2.2.6 The Education of the Children
Chinese parents know very much “in the education of children at the same time, but also in education, and examine their own personality”, parents should educate their own good quality to children who, it must strictly comply with their inner beliefs. Power forces of the moral values of children in the form of play, “moisten things silently” effect. American parents teach their children which is the key to open the door. Basically, the United States there is a consensus of the education sector, that is, parents, teachers should educate children to a certain established norms, each person can be in accordance with their respective values to choose, the important function of education is to guide them on how to choose, “to them the key to open the door they entered the room than with a more suitable”.
2.2.7 Views on Divorce
“Marriage is a wise trade, in marriage order is not that maniacal, but getting more impenetrable.”(meng tian,2006:239)If people consider marriage as a trade, then when they couldn’t get their profits or when then needs couldn’t be content with, which causes divorce. However, marriage is not just a trade.
In a marriage wives are made to love, want to love, and expect love. Many husbands fail to deliver. Husbands are made to be respected, want respect, and expect respect. Many wives fail to deliver. The result is that find out of ten marriages land in divorce court.
This craziness happens when the couples keep doing the same things over and over with the same sick effect. Marriage seems to be fertile ground for this kind of craziness. Reason for divorce is different, but mostly, it is because of the different way of delivering messages and integrating messages. “What I say is not what you hear, and what you think you bear is not what I mean at all.”(Eggerichs, 2004:39) 2.2.7.1 Rare Divorce in Ancient China
In the old time, a male could have several wives and only the man has the right to divorce his wife. A woman could only be obedient and loyal to her husband. The right of divorce only belongs to the man in old China; they call it “has a rest for the wife.” The freedom of marriage includes the freedom to divorce. In traditional society, marriages were very stable, and each partner would marry only once and for life. For several thousand years China’s divorce system did not allow women to divorce. The division of labor between man’s duties outside and women’s duties at home was so obvious that man owns the land, which means power and authority and wife need to obey the authority.
Although woman did not have right to divorce for their weak background, which to some point lover down the percentage of divorcing, that doesn’t mean man had the complete control of marriage. That society, in which man need to feed up woman. Confucius approbated that man have the priority absolute and control of divorcing his wife, however this authority couldn’t be abused, only on these following conditioned.#p#分页标题#e#
1. Bad relationship either patents-in-low, not very good at severing them.
2. Proved unable to bear son.
3. Having unreasonable or unethical action.
4. Blowing the indiscriminate and unfounded gossip, which caused the family or any of the other’s damage?
5. Suffering forms some sickening serious illness.
6. Saying rode terms often wound the others but couldn’t control.
7. Family property or goods robbing without the permission of the husband.
These are the seven conditions that a man can divorce his wife. China is also considered as a country of etiquette. Although man has the right to divorce, but there were also three conditions that can by no means be couldn’t divorce his wife.
1. Both wife’s parents died, she had no place to go after divorce.
2. Either of the parents-in-low died, the daughter-in-low needed to mourn for three years. In these three years, husband couldn’t divorce her. 3. When the couple first got married staying in poor, but later the family made it rich, the husband couldn’t divorce wife.
In a way, people say that ancient China is very traditional. There was a stigma attached to divorce people in China.
2.2.7.2 Rare Divorce in Traditional America
Americans take marriage as appraisal thing. Divorce is socially acceptable. About 30%of all marriages in the USA end in divorce. It is a change mechanism as the society thinks that it is acceptable. There are many reasons for divorce and in some cases it is essential for the mental and physical well being of the persons affected.
However, earlier before, in the year of 1860, the percentage of divorce is only 3%-5%.97% of marriage ended up because of the death of one partner.
America is a young county consists of marry different immigrants coming from all over the world. Those people had stronger conscious of exploring and competition. They came to a new land and wanted to establish a new better world. They worked hard on it and the couples in the family have very clear and serious labor distribution with enterprising minds of creating the new world. They keep their beliefs and conquer difficulties in life together.
Besides marriage is a legal contract between two people, it also has these elements—the religious aspect—The Bible, and the Church. It says that divorce is wrong except in cases of infidelity and possibly abuse. It was difficult to be a member of a church if one got a divorce(and many people in the past wanted to be members of a church).Evangelicals who attend church regularly divorce at a rate 35% lower than secular couples, after controlling for various confounding sociological factors, such as economic and educational status. Similar trends are found for active Catholics and active mainline Protestants. In contrast, nominal angelicas, who rarely or never attend church, have higher divorce rates than secular couples.
But actually in most cases, divorce and remarriage are not Sin at all, and never were! A biblical divorce is not sin. 2.3 The Cultural Combination through Chinese and American Marriage
The cultures of China and western countries are integrating. A new cultural revolution is progressing. Nobody can hider the communication and integration of culture. The universality and nationality of culture decide the integration tendency of cultural values. Among which the collision of culture and communication are unavoidable. In such an economic globalization times, we have p to know the nature of both cultures, which can help as build up and perfect understandings with each other from all aspects. Weddings-the Embodiment of Chinese and Western Cultures formed in the axis period of human history still have a great life-force today. The proverb “two poles are interlined” still has a realistic significance for us to understand the real life of human society.
2.3.1Wedding dress
Weddings performed during and immediately following the medieval era were often more than just a union between two people. They could be a union between two families, two businesses or even two countries. Many weddings were more a matter of politics than love, particularly among the nobility and the higher social classes. Brides were therefore expected to dress in a manner that cast their families in the most favorable light, for they weren’t representing only themselves during the ceremony. Brides of an elevated social standing often wore rich colors and expensive fabrics. It was common to see such brides wearing bold colors and layers of furs, velvet and silk. Brides of a lower social standing often copied the elegant styles of wealthier brides as best they could.
The woman to the far right is wearing a typical wedding dress from 1929. Up until the late 1930s wedding dresses reflected the styles of the day. From that time onward, wedding dresses have traditionally been based on Victorian styles.
Over the centuries, brides continued to dress in a manner befitting their social status---always in the height of fashion, with the richest, boldest materials money could buy. The poorest of brides wore their best church dress on their wedding day. The amount of material a wedding dress contained also was a reflection of the bride’s social standing and indicated the extent of the family’s wealth to wedding guests.#p#分页标题#e# Wedding dresses have traditionally been based on the popular styles of the day. For example, in the 1920’s wedding dresses were typically short in the front with a longer train in the back and were worn with cloche-style wedding veils. This tendency to follow current fashions continued until the late 1940’s, when it became popular to revert to long, full-skirted designs reminiscent of the Victorian era. The trend has continued until today.
Today, western wedding dresses are usually white, though ‘wedding white’ includes creamy shades such as eggshell, ecru and ivory. One of the first women to wear white at her wedding was Mary Queen of Scots, when she married François II of France. However, white was not then a tradition but rather a choice and one considered inauspicious, since white was the official color of mourning in France at the time.
White did not become a popular option until 1840, after the marriage of Queen Victoria to Albert of Saxe-Coburg. Victoria had worn a white gown for the event so as to incorporate some lace she owned. The official wedding portrait photograph was widely published, and many other brides opted for a similar dress in honor of the Queen’s choice. The tradition continues today in the form of a white wedding, though prior to the Victorian era a bride was married in any color except black (the color of mourning) or red (which was connected with prostitutes). Later, many people assumed that the color white was intended to symbolize virginity, though this had not been the original intention. (It was the color blue that was connected to purity.) Today, the white dress is understood merely as the most traditional and popular choice for weddings, not necessarily a statement of virginity.
2.3.2 Church Wedding
A church wedding is a ceremony presided over by a Christian priest or pastor. Ceremonies are based on reference to God, are frequently embodied into other church ceremonies such as Holy Mass. Customs may vary widely between denominations. 2.3.3 Honeymoon
The Oxford English Dictionary offers no etymology, but gives examples dating back to the 16th century. The Merriam-Webster dictionary reports the etymology as from “the idea that the first month of marriage is the sweetest” (1546).
A honeymoon can also be the first moments a newly-wed couple spend together, or the first holiday they spend together to celebrate their marriage.
“The first month after marriage, when there is nothing but tenderness and pleasure” (Samuel Johnson); originally having no reference to the period of a month, but comparing the mutual affection of newly-married persons to the changing moon which is no sooner full than it begins to wane; now, usually, the holiday spent together by a newly-married couple, before settling down at home.”
One of the more recent citations in the Oxford English Dictionary indicates that, while today honeymoon has a positive meaning, the word was originally a reference to the inevitable waning of love like a phase of the moon. This, the first known literary reference to the honeymoon, was penned in 1552, in Richard Huloet’s Abecedarium Anglico Latinum. Huleot writes:
“Honey moon, a term proverbially applied to such as be newly married, which will not fall out at the first, but the one loves the other at the beginning exceedingly, the likelihood of their exceeding love appearing to as wage, ye which time the vulgar people call the honey moon.”
In many parts of Europe it was traditional to supply a newly married couple with enough mead for a month, ensuring happiness and fertility. From this practice we get honeymoon or, as the French say, lune de miel
There are many calques of the word honeymoon from English into other languages. The Welsh word for honeymoon is mis mêl (honey month). In Arabic it is shahr el ’assal also translated to honey month. The Spanish word for honeymoon is la luna de miel (the moon of honey), and the Italian luna di miele (same translation). The Persian word for it is mah e asal which has both the translations honeymoon and honey month (mah in Persian meaning both moon and month).(Marriage,2005:10) 2.3.4 Civilization Marriage in China
At the past time, the children always submits to their parents about marriage especially women. The reason is that woman had low status and no right to choose their life. They think that is one way of showing their filial piety.
At the end of Qing Dynasty, the phenomenon of civilization marriage was rising. Chinese traditional wedding has complex progress what includes Three Letters and Six Etiquettes. Although the old style marriage was promote the society development, it also exist many defects. First, the parents held their children’s marriage. This way was killed the children’s independent personality. The second is that the parents always made their children to many for the family’s benefit even their children disagree with their marriage value. For this reason, the western new style was popular in developed cities.#p#分页标题#e#
The new style marriage or civilization marriage was appeared in southeast metropolises. According to some literatures, the first case of Chinese held civilization marriage was happened about in 1859.At the beginning of 20th century, the new marriage style was accepted by some people who have advanced opinion, then formed the civilization marriage. The characteristic of these styles the couple knows and loves each other, and their parent’s agree the marriage. It not only simplifies the wedding ceremony but also respects the willing of marriage people. Those changes broke the old tradition wedding ceremony at the end of the Qing Dynasty. Now, the civilization marriage still exists.
Marriage freely becomes a fashion. It is popular that adult to love freely and marry freely in many big cities and towns. The new wedding model is easier than before. They exchange the ring as engaged before their wedding, and almost make a dinner party in hotel instead of at home. The bride and groom need not to perform a know-how but perform three bows to their parents, witness a wedding and officiate as wedding. They also take wedding dresses photos in wedding dress store or outside before their wedding. Socrates to choose which to choose than in the wheat fields, “the most full of wheat.” In fact, everyone should be for the ever-growing “wheat”, both before and after marriage. Faced with the choice of options, in the face of a culture of conflict and mingle with, Sino-US transnational marriage couples should be so.
III. Reasons of the Differences in Marriage Cultures between China and America
There are many differences of marriage between China and America. Why the differences could come into existence? The answers are as follow:
3.1 Gender Roles of Marriage in Traditional America and Ancient
Husband-wife relationship is inaccurate to say that the traditional husband-wife relationship is a relationship between two individuals. Or it should be like that, it is a relation sets by customary rules of culture. Generally speaking, the core of the relationship between complies shot their emotional life, but the guarantee and duties of each. They must fulfill their duties and cooperate in a diversion of labor, working together to do keep the house hold going it has been clear from long ago which things should be done by men, which by women, and which by either men or women. Rationally, productive activities-duchy as wage labor outside should all be done by men, cooking, feeding children, changing clothes washing nappies and pouring out the chamber-pot, was the wife’s role in both countries.
3.1.1 Traditional Roles of Wife in Ancient China
In ancient China, women were taught to domestic roles-cooking. Cleaning, and giving birth in centuries gone by.
“A woman was considered nice if she had not committed any major misdeeds”. Society back then did not look favorably on educated woman. Woman in feudal society were expected to live by the “tenets of obedience and the four virtues” women were required to obey they fathers and brothers before marriage, their husband during marriage and their sons if they were widowed. The four virtues were felicity, physical charm, good manners and efficiency in needlework. Families in feudal China were structured in accordance with the political system, laws, moral standards and idiocies.
Wives were often addressed as “someone’s family member” or “children’s mother” But in fact Confucianism stood for a society with emphasis on distinction between superiority and inferiority. It stood for obedience for recognition of authority in a family as in a state. Wife was given an “equal” position with husband somehow, below the husband.
Han Chinese women had the custom of going into confinement for a month after childbirth. This custom is related to patriarchal culture. People think that women’s menstrual blood is unclean, and their bodies are polluted after childbirth, and are afraid of angering the spirits and calling disease or disaster upon themselves. Before the baby has reached one month old, the mother cannot leave the room in which she gave birth. Her mother-in-law or her natal mother or sister-in-law brings her food to her. The cultural meaning of this is to play down the significance of childbirth. But in fact it also reduces the new mother’s workload, giving their bodies a chance to recover after childbirth. The custom of confinement is still common today, but the fear of angering the spirit has weakened, and young people do not know the origin of the custom, merely that it is a necessary measure in order for the mother’s heath to recover.
The treatment of new mothers during the period of confinement depends on the economic condition of the household.
After land reform in the 1950s, the household had more land and the government promoted the idea of male and female equality. So women were mobilized to take part in more labor activities, and many women also began to go to the fields to plant and harvest. During the collective period, in which income was distributed according to work points, most able-bodied women were taking part in agricultural and other production activities. However, changes in women’s roles in production did not lead to corresponding changes in the division of labor between women and men regarding household duties. Rural women still carried out all the household tasks that were traditionally regarded as women’s tasks. Thus they had mot only to earn work points to feed their families, but also to undertake the tiring tasks of feeding and clothing the whole family. Some women, finding they too busy, would task their husbands to help look after child or cook. But other Villagers would laugh at men who often did these tasks. Even in the 1990s, pouring out the chamber pot was still the wife’s task. In general wife would only ask her husband to “lose face” and the wife would become the topic of others’ gossip.#p#分页标题#e# 3.1.2 Traditional Roles of Husband in America
The biblical idea about husband is that husband is the head. He is the ultimate authority within the home for all decisions. God asks a man to be the head of the family doesn’t mean a woman is looked down on. However vice, the Lord’s will is, a man must take the mail responsibility of a family. Husband is the head that means be is the leader, provider and protector in the family.
The husband feels a strong sense of responsibility to make money and provide what is needed for the family. The husband has also traditionally been seen as the disciplinary of a family and he has the responsibility to make to final decisions for their home. A wise husband will seek his wife’s opinion and respect her opinion even if he must decide against her opinion. The husband is to love the wife, provide for her, and protect her.
3.2 The Effect of Educational Traditions
The differences of cultural traditions are the roots of the differences of educational traditions, which make the differences of cultural traditions exist and strengthen. Our traditional culture has considered the Confucianism as the leading place since Chun-Chill. Tone in with people and society’s relationship has already dominated the execution of education. The educational tradition created by it has been controlling people’s thought. However, the western educational traditions pay more attention to people’s development and ability’s cultivation. This characteristic also has a long historical process. Special education on the history of Chinese parents, with the noble spirit of molding people with outstanding works to inspire people, and Chinese history and culture deeply influenced by the tradition of every family. In the United States the family and moral education, religion played a role should not be underestimated. In modern society, parents still hope that God has always been common in the isolated heart of the unity of mankind together. In fact, there are also many similarities between Chinese and western educations. As a tradition, there is no one better or worse. Which was born in a given cultural background and it were the products of certain cultures. Only in the original soil that can judge its degree of suitability. The educational traditions of the soil mostly are complemented in many aspects, and borrow ideas form each other to perfect continually.
3.3 Influences of Economical Factors in Marriage
Research strongly and consistently indicates that marriage is a wealth building institution. Married people typically earn and save more than their unmarried counterparts. And it is not just the joining of resources and energies that create this financial benefit, but the permanence of marriage itself. The wealth accumulation in cohabiting situations is far below what is typically is in marriage,
With cohabiters more closely resembling the earnings and savings of sings of singles. While the poverty rate for children linings in married households is about 6 percents, it is 31 percents for children in cohabiting homes, much close to the 45 percents for Children living in single parent families.
3.3.1 Affluent Economy in America
The major effect of the economy on marriage relates to how many women work outside the home and the necessity for them to close. Today’s high cost of living in America forces many wives (even those who prefer not to work outside the home) to work outside the home. The constant message from advertising is that the family needs more material things in order to be happy. And because of the development of their lift, the higher level of their needs, they are aware of being in rich are the way if making marriage better, they make money for a better life. This causes many married couples to seek higher income levels to afford things that are not essential to the family’s needs. Americans are willing to buy things, especially in the bedroom and the car, eat or drink and, in particular, is a banquet, the more “Jewish” and the Chinese people are more willing to spend money on a banquet area. 3.3.2 Affluent Economy in China
Different from American, Chinese people’s thinking of economy is more negative. It is a tradition that the parents who has a son, need to buy a new apartment for the new couple. It is always the man’s duty to buy a house, which is a great burden to men, and to marry price of the house. Not long ago, people in China used to save money for the marriage. To some degree, people don’t want to get married is also because of the high price of the apartment. Right now with the new policy of the government, more and more Chinese people feel like extent credit to pay for the house. That also encourages the couple to stay in marriage and both work outside. Chinese people usually do budgets are more conservative, while the United States budget is relatively close “to the limit”, and often have the tendency of consumption over budget (with the United States will be a substantial use of credit cards also have relations).#p#分页标题#e#
3.4 Tolerance Levels
Marriage is not an end of one’s life but a new life just starts, is not a death of one’s single life but a life, which need to continue. With those many problems in marriage, people would take different ways to solve it. The holy Bible says, “Love is patient, love is kind.”
3.4.1 Better Ability of Tolerance in Chinese Marriage
Chinese women are the most patience women in the world. The thinking of “Marriage woman likes the water which is puling out.” They think after marriage they already an individual; and need to solve her problem by her self. Chinese people have better tolerance is also because they love to pin their desire to achieve in the next generation. Having this hope, to bear an unhappy relationship in a marriage, is not a big deal any more.
3.4.2 Less Marriage Tolerance in America
In American’s character, equality plays a significant role. The realization of being equality is deep in every American’s heart. Compared with Chinese people, they have less ability to tolerate the partner. They never oppress their affection. They know it very clear that as an individual, they have rights to gain equality, even in spiritual or marital. They think more highly of the romance in marriage, they have higher expectation of the quality of their life. They would not to bear in marriage. Divorce is more widely accepted; people are less committed to making a marriage work than they were fifty or one hundred year’s age.
IV. Conclusion 结论也许有些地方不合适，能改下更好。
When it comes to planning a wedding people often honor traditions, even if they do not fully understand their origin or meaning. Every culture cherishes its own wedding traditions and superstitions. Some of those are closely followed even by those who are normally not superstitious.
The figure of a bride in white is an important element of the ritual of marriage. However, new designs of gown are available so brides today may find themselves attracted to designs that do not look traditional. The symbolism behind the wedding dress, however, has not changed.
If the entire community can establish a concept: Love is the foundation of marriage, and marriage should be maintained and developed friendship, family, responsibilities, obligations, good-hearted, such as the Chinese culture of tolerance in good quality, if not love, would also enable the marriage become warm and happy, so that others lamented the marriage was full of romantic love.
Indeed, as the social development and cultural integration of the exchanges and people of the United States recognize the marriage was also a certain subtle changes. However, the fundamental concepts remain unchanged, because a nation that wishes to live forever, not only have the ability to adapt to the trend of the times and with other ethnic coexistence and common prosperity mind and boldness of vision, but more important is to maintain their own culture and the fundamental, maintain their social characteristics.
Bibliography
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JIUZHOUPRESS 2005.1
[3] John GottmanTHE Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work Three Rivers Press 1999.1
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