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增词减词

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1、增词

增词,从理论上说可以增加任何词,但在什么时候增加什么样的词,才能恰到好处,而不超出一定界限,则需要悉心体会。下面试分析几个译例:

1)A book, tight shut, is but a block of paper.
译文一:一本书,紧紧合上,只是一叠纸。
译文二:一本书,如果紧紧合上不读,只是一叠纸。
译文三:一本书,如果紧紧合上不读,只是一叠废纸。
译文四:闲置之书只是一叠废纸。
上面同一个句子四个译文,可以体现翻译不同层次。译文一,与原文似乎丝丝入扣,但却显得支离破碎、关系不清、语意不足;译文二,增加了“如果……不读”,意思明白无误,只是觉得言犹未尽;译文三,又增加了一个废字,这可是点睛之举。能否译出这个废字,是翻译这个句子的关键。一个废字,说话者语意才得以充分表达。译文三不足之处,就是行文拖沓累赘;而译文四则简明扼要,笔酣墨浓了。

2)Success is often just an idea away.
译文一:成功往往只是一个念头的距离。
译文二:成功往往只是一念之差。
译文三:成功与否往往只是一念之差。
译文一让人看后莫名其妙;译文二改变说法,但仍让人似懂非懂,而译文三只是简简单单增加了一个“与否”,但却使人豁然开朗!原句意思表达得淋漓尽致。
如同文学翻译一样,经贸文字翻译增词现象也是千变万化。下面实例可供学习者体会增词原理和技巧。
1)All cash bonus shall be subject to income tax.所有现金红利,均须缴纳所得税。(根据汉语行文习惯,增加动词。)
2)It's more expensive than it was last time but not as good.价钱比上次高,但质量却比上次差。(增补原文省略部分,原句后半句完整形式应该是:...but it's not as good as it was last time.)
3)The application of plastics in automobile industry has brought about great increase of the consumption.塑料在汽车工业上的使用大增加了塑料消费量。(增补原文省略部分,以使意思更加清楚。)
4)Commission depends on the quantity of goods ordered.佣金多少取决于订货量大小。(增词以使译文语意完整,更符合汉语表达习惯。)

2、减词

由于两种语言表达习惯不同,翻译时如果一字不漏地照搬,往往会显得累赘、拖沓、冗杂、或不合行文习惯,甚至产生歧义。采取减词译法可以使译文言简意赅。涉外文书翻译常有以下几种减词情况:

(1) 减去代词
这种情况尤见于外贸信件翻译,例如:
1)We assure you of our prompt attention to this matter.我们保证立即处理此事。
2)You are kindly requested to let us have your best quotation for the canned fish.请报鱼罐头最惠价。

(2) 减去陈腐或不必要套语
We take this opportunity to inform you that we are now in position to make prompt shipment of the merchandise.兹奉告,该商品可即期装运。(译文比原文大为简明,除减去了"take this opportunity"这一陈腐表达外,还省略了三个代词,并用一个“可”字代替了原文中"in a position"这样的繁复表达方式。) 
(3)减去不言而喻或冗杂词语
1)Any expenses accruing from this credit inquiry will be gladly paid on receipt of your bill.对此信用咨询所需任何费用,在接到账单后即付。
2)On condition that you sign this receipt, I will pay the money.你在收据上签字,我就付款。(原文是通过连词来表示“条件”,而汉语则是通过从句和主句前后顺序来表达这一关系。)
3)The price of the products should be set according to the price in the international market. It should be fixed by the two parties at a level that will bring profit to both.产品价格应该根据国际市场价格,由双方共同商定,须照顾到双方利益。(译文看似没译"at a level",但字里行间却含有其意。)
4)Part-time waitress applicants who had worked at a job would receive preference over those who had not.应聘兼职女服务员者,有工作经验优先录用。(如果不省略,译成“应聘兼职女服务员者,有工作经验,比没有工作经验,优先录用”,其中“比没有工作经验”就属多余了。)
5)男女老少咸宜。Suitable for men, women and children.
6)互通有无 the exchange of needed goods(试比较:the exchange of what one has for what one needs)

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