Directions: For this part, you are allowed 30 minutes to write a composition on the topic On Dieting. You should write at least 150 words, and base your composition on the outline (given in Chinese) below: 1)现在有越来越多人的选择节食,有的人是为了健康,但是更多的人是为了有一个苗条的身材 2)分析节食减肥可能带来的影响 3)你的建议 On Dieting _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ 行文思路 本题属于提纲式文字命题。提纲第1点指出一种现象并要求说明原因,提纲第2点要求分析这种现象可能带来的影响,提纲第3点要求针对该现象提出“我”的建议,由此可判断本文应为现象解释型作文。 根据所给提纲,本文应包含如下内容:描述越来越多的人节食的现象并分析主要原因;阐述节食不当可能带来的影响;针对节食给出“我”的建议。 高分范文 On Dieting Nowadays more and more people are beginning to go on a diet. Some people are concerned with their health, and they go on a diet in order to lose unwanted weight. But still others, [1]especially the young women, are paying too much attention to their outward appearance. They [2]become the leading numbers who go on a diet. [3]However, dieting might [4]bring great negative effects on people. [3]For one thing, quite a lot of people don’t really need dieting to keep health, and they diet just because they want to keep slim. For them, dieting [5]not only is useless but also might damage their health. [3]For another, some people lack enough knowledge on how to diet scientifically. [3]As a result, they are likely to suffer from malnutrition. [6]Considering the serious damage of unhealthy dieting, we should be cautious in dieting. [3]In my opinion, dieting,[7]for whatever reasons, needs professional guidance. [8]Only with right guidance can dieting work [9]as we expect. 【亮点点评】 [1]“尤其”,表示强调。 [2]“成为主力军”。 [3]过渡衔接词语,使文章条理清晰、衔接紧密。 [4]用于引出对危害或负面影响的阐述。 [5]“not only… but also”用于连接并列成分。 [6]“考虑到,鉴于”,介词。 [7]“不管因为什么原因”,whatever意为“无论什么”。 [8]“only+状语”位于句首,引起句子部分倒装。 [9]“像我们期望的那样”。 佳句临摹 1.佳句:For them, dieting not only is useless but also might damage their health. 临摹:基因技术不仅使动植物受益而且还有助于提高人类的生活质量。 ___________________________________________________________________________. 2.佳句:In my opinion, dieting, for whatever reasons, needs professional guidance. 临摹: 无论你的目标是什么,你都必须通过诚实的劳动来实现它。 ___________________________________________________________________________. 3.佳句:Only with right guidance can dieting work as we expect. 临摹:只有修满足够的学分,学生才能够获准毕业。 ___________________________________________________________________________. 【KEY】 1. Genetic technology helps not only the plant and animals but also human beings to live a higher quality 2. Whatever your aim is, you must worked honestly to attain it. 3. Only when adequate credits have been achieved can students gain the qualification for graduation. |