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Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank. -- Alphonse AllaisThe hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and w...

The grass may be greener on the other side of the fence, but you still have to mow it. -- AnonymousYou are never given a wish without also being given...

I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear. -- Woody AllenI don't want to achieve immortality through my work....

If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders. -- Hal AbelsonCreativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes...

If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done. -- Scott AdamsThere are three kinds of death in this w...

Elegance of language may not be in the power of all of us; but simplicity and straight forwardness are. Write much as you would speak; speak as you th...

Our children's children will hear a good story. -- Richard Adams, Watership DownAdolescence is a period of rapid changes. Between the ages of 12 a...

My initial response was to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized that I had no character. -- Charles Barkley, on hearing Tonya Hard...

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. -- Russell BakerHave...

This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises, promotions, and other signs of appreciation. -- Anonymou...