给老外建议：如何在中国生存
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爱思英语编者按：带上除臭剂，带上你喜欢的咖啡，尽量习惯尿的味道。保持微笑，学会如何回答你从哪里来的问题，明白人们打听你收入的行为并非无礼。听音乐，阅读，对万事保持耐心，不要喝自来水。对任何事都至少要试一次，尤其是那些让你不爽的，它们绝对会让你觉得此行不虚。不管是出门还是做事，不要总是有“这是我应得的”这样的念头。如果你是男的，最好随身带烟，并且不论见到谁都要给一根，他们即使会抽也多半不会要你的烟，不过绝对会领你的情。
Bring your own deodorant. Bring your own coffee. Get used to the smell of urine. Smile, a lot. Learn how to say where your from. Understand that it’s not rude if someone asks how much money you make. Listen to music. Read. Be patient. Don’t drink tap water. Try everything at least once, especially the stuff that grosses you out, it will make for a better story. Get out there and do stuff, try not to use the train of thought “Well, I deserve this,” too often. If you’re a man, carry a pack of cigarettes with you and offer them to any man you meet. They will most likely not take one, even if they do smoke, but they will appreciate the sentiment. Try not to think in terms of right or wrong, rude or polite, dirty or clean. Ask as many questions as you can. Don’t talk about politics. Eat lots of noodles. Eat lots of fruit, but always clean them before hand. Don’t be shy. Go to karaoke. Don’t talk about Japan. If you like basketball play a pick up game with some strangers. Despite the fact that they don’t, look both ways before crossing the street. Bring your own ear plugs. Bring your own dental floss. Never pay full price. Don’t expect to get laid. Don’t do anything that could land you in jail. Find out what can and can’t land you in jail, you’ll be surprised. Don’t freak out when someone invades your personal space. Try not to eat Western food, it’s expensive and often times unsatisfying. Visit the Great Wall, the Terra Cotta Warriors, the Summer Palace, but don’t linger. Get off the beaten path. Get lost. Take your time. Man zou. Walk slowly. Learn how to use chopsticks. Buy or rent a bike. Weaving in and out of traffic, dodging taxis and donkey pulled carts, and ringing your bell at pedestrians in your way will make you feel like you’re one of them. Don’t go in the water. Get used to sleeping on a rock hard bed. Try not to reserve “thank you” for times when people really do help you, and try to reserve “I’m sorry,” for times when you’ve truly inconvenienced someone. It will only make them laugh if you over use it. If you learn to read any characters, learn foods first. Don’t worry about table manors. Talk with your mouth full of food. Burp. Slurp your tea as loud as you can. Go to a teahouse and try as many different kinds as you want. You’ll want to buy a lot of crap, but by the end of your journey you’ll realize that most of it just that, crap. Reserve days for doing nothing. Make lots of jokes. Don’t sleep in too often, Chinese people are early risers and you might miss a lot of the action. Don’t go to many temples. You’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all. Keep your eyes open. Don’t get discouraged. It will be hard, but try not to think about home. Remind yourself that every day you’ve somehow ended up on the other side of the world, in the oldest civilization in the world. Ask yourself unanswerable questions and find satisfaction in this. Go fly a kite. It’s not just for kids. 带上除臭剂，带上你喜欢的咖啡，尽量习惯尿的味道。保持微笑，学会如何回答你从哪里来的问题，明白人们打听你收入的行为并非无礼。听音乐，阅读，对万事保持耐心，不要喝自来水。对任何事都至少要试一次，尤其是那些让你不爽的，它们绝对会让你觉得此行不虚。不管是出门还是做事，不要总是有“这是我应得的”这样的念头。如果你是男的，最好随身带烟，并且不论见到谁都要给一根，他们即使会抽也多半不会要你的烟，不过绝对会领你的情。 不要以为事情不是对就是错，不是粗鲁就是客气，不是肮脏就是清白。有问题就尽管问，但是莫谈国是。多吃面条、多吃水果，不过吃之前最好洗干净。要外向，去KTV，不要说日本的好话。如果你喜欢打篮球，尽管去和陌生人斗牛吧，或许中国人不会注意，但你过马路时要记得注意安全。带上防噪音耳塞，带上牙线，买东西永远要记得砍价。不要期待艳遇，不要做任何可能被喝茶的事。如果你有兴趣，可以研究一下究竟做什么会被抓，你一定会叹为观止。 如果有人闯入你的私人空间，不要惊慌。不要吃西餐，他们价格高昂而且绝对无法让人满意。去看看长城、兵马俑，还有颐和园，不过不要在那磨蹭，果断的从大路上消失，然后慢慢享受你的午后阳光。学会用筷子，买或者租辆自行车，在马路上穿行，避开的士和驴拉车（误），然后在行人中间按响铃铛，这会让你觉得你已经完全和他们融为一体。不要下水。要习惯睡板床。 如果别人帮了你忙不要吝啬“谢谢”，而“不好意思”最好烂肚子里，否则你只会被人取笑。 如果想学中文，先从食物开始。不要在乎餐桌礼仪，嘴里塞满食物时尽可以说话、打嗝。喝茶时啜饮的声音越大越好，最好能去茶社尝遍所有的茶品。 你会想要买一大堆纪念品，但最后你会意识到这些真的只是垃圾而已。安排一些没有安排的日子，多开开玩笑。不要总是睡过头，中国人都习惯早起，否则你会错过很多好戏。不要每个寺庙都去，它们全都一模一样，去一个就够了。 时刻观察四周，不要气馁，即使很难，也不要想家。提醒自己，你正莫名度过的每一天都是在地球的另一边，世界上最古老的文明里。问自己一些无法回答的问题，然后在这里找到答案。最后，去放个风筝吧，在这儿，这并不只是给小孩子玩的游戏。
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