80后回忆：那些动画片告诉我们的道理

《蓝精灵》、《变形金刚》、《忍者神龟》，这些80后耳熟能详的童年伙伴在今天看来有着怀旧的亲切感。小编的一位朋友以动画片看的多少来衡量童年是否完整，以动画片的经典程度来衡量童年的幸福指数。你的童年完整不完整，幸福不幸福呢？不完整不幸福的就好好的用经典的动画片来弥补童年的缺失吧。

教材：The smurfs 蓝精灵

课程主题：共产主义实现了！（Communism works!）

课程大意：蓝精灵村里的居民们共享着劳动成果、穿着相似的工装、"齐心合力开动脑筋斗败了格格巫"--这不正是马克思所说"各尽所能，按需分配"的最好体现么？

课程原文：For naysayers who point to the Former Soviet Union as proof that communism is inherently flawed, may we merely direct your attention to Smurf Village, where everyone shares everything, wears similar utilitarian clothing, battles Gargamel and his turn-Smurfs-to-gold get rich quick schemes and obeys the dictates of a bearded, red hat-wearing, benevolent authority figure. Quoth Comrade Papa: "From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs." Really, he actually said that.

课程总结：蓝精灵村里只有一个蓝妹妹却有30个小伙子的男女比例恐怕不甚乐观，那得多少时间学校才有个新学生咧？

总结原文：However, the sexual politics of Smurf Village, with its one female for every 30 guys, did go a long way towards preparing us for freshman year of college.

教材：Popeye the Sailor 大力水手

课程主题：多吃菠菜有好处。（Spinach is good for you.）

课程大意：尽管菠菜不如糖果、冰激淋美味，但它富含你体内所需的维他命和矿物质，能让你的肌肉像舰艇上的炮弹一样大爆发。总之想要打败恶棍赢得美女，多吃菠菜吧！

课程原文：Sure, it doesn't taste as good as candy, ice cream or opium, but it's full of essential vitamins and minerals that'll make your muscles explode like battleship cannons. If you want to triumph over the bullying Blutos of the world and win the affections of your own lovely, leggy Olive Oyl, pound a can of spinach at least once a day. Or put it in your corncob pipe and smoke it, like everybody's favorite ornery, mumbling sailorman. Toot toot!

课程总结：看看美国职业棒球联盟的类固醇丑闻，你就知道大力水手是怎样影响了一代人让他们不惜一切想要变得更强健。需要指出的是女主角奥利弗也许是第一个厌食症患者。

总结原文：You only need to look at the steroid scandal rocking Major League Baseball to see that Popeye raised a generation that is willing to use performance enhancers. Also, it should be pointed out that Olive Oyl was the first anorexic sex symbol.

教材：He-Man and the Masters of the Universe 希曼

课程主题：成为同性恋也没关系。（It's OK to be gay.）

课程大意：金发剪成帅气的发型、浅黄色的双头肌、棕褐色的光滑身躯，拥有魔剑和举世无双的力量；此外他还动不动把他的帅气朋友邀请到自己的城堡来……囧

课程原文：Look at this guy: golden locks cut in a tasteful bob, buff biceps, tanned, toned, hairless torso, a magic sword and most importantly, fabulous powers. What's more, He-Man invites his handsome friends, the Mastersof the Universe, to come hang out in his castle anytime. Of courseSkeletor and his fugly cohorts are never allowed access to the secrets of He-Man's dark, dry palace. Yes, we had He-Man toys,like Ram-Man, Trap-Jaw and even Castle Grayskull. We also had afavorite pair of tighty whiteys that had He-Man on one cheek and Skeletor on the other, battling over our asshole. But did merely owning and wearing that underwear make us gay?

课程总结：拥有希曼卡通里面的玩具周边以及服饰内衣内裤之类的会不会真的让男孩子变成同性恋呢？这是一桩很复杂的问题，但一句话回答：是的。

总结原文：As regards the above question, it's a very complex matter, but in a word: yes. （For more on depictions of homosexuality in '80s cartoons, please see Care Bears.）

教材：Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 忍者神龟

课程主题：爱普尔·奥尼尔真的很赞！（April O'Neil is really hot.）

课程大意：红发黄衫，同住在地底下的非人类一起吃批萨吃得欢，甚至不介意同穿着粉红色和服的老耗子一起出门。说真的，这女孩子是怪胎。

课程原文：She's got red hair, wears a sexy yellow jumpsuit and gets down with an thropomorphic pizza-fiends. Most girls want nothing to do with dudes that live in the sewers, but not April O'Neil. She doesn't even mind hanging with that old man-rat wearing a pink kimono! This girl is a freak, for real. I've got one word for you dude: cowabunga. Cowabunga that chick in your underground lair all night long.

课程总结：要是你称呼自己的女朋友为"兄弟"或者只吃批萨不吃别的，你女朋友不生气才怪咧！

总结原文：Mistakenly thought our girlfriend would be cool with it if we called them dude or ate nothing but pizza.

教材：Transformers 变形金刚

课程主题：不小心点的话，机器人会把我们都杀绝的。（If we're not careful, robots will kill us all.）

课程大意：老实告诉你吧，要真的有一天机器们把人类挤下食物链顶端的时候，我们大概都会站在两边满腔热情地挥舞着博派的小旗子。现实一点好不好，被外星汽车吃掉很挫诶。

课程原文：This is a humbling lesson for any child to learn, but an easy one to accept, consideringTransformers was one of the coolest cartoons of the '80s. Would the Unabomber have renounced his violent ways if he were to witness the sheer stunning spectacle that is Grimlock? Hard to say, since he didn't have a TV. But we will tell you one thing: when machines replace humans at the top of the food chain, we'll be standing on the sidelines, waving our Autobot flag with fervent pride. Because, let's face it, getting eaten by an alien car would suck.

课程总结：这就是为什么我们不开本田车，还有睡前必须给电视机罩上罩子。