暖心的毒舌

My prince is not coming on a white horse. He's obviously riding a turtle somewhere really confused...

我的王子并没有骑着白马向我走来，很显然他正在哪儿骑着乌龟困惑不已……

Dear Bestfriend, please stay in my life forever because you're one of the best things to ever happen to me.

亲爱的好朋友，请永远待在我的生命里，因为你是我遇到的最美好的事情之一。

Can I borrow a hug please? I promise!! I'll give u it back!!

我能借个拥抱吗？我保证我会还给你的！！

Never go to bed angry… Stay awake and plot revenge.

不要带着怒气上床睡觉……保持清醒计划复仇。

I was put on this earth to do two things. Piss people off and make people smile. Which lucky one are you?.

我来到世界上有两个任务。让别人愤怒和让别人开心，你属于哪一类呢？

My wallet is like an onion. When I open it, it makes me cry.

我的钱包像洋葱一样。当我打开它时，它会让我哭泣。

I don't easily trust someone so when I tell you "I trust you." Don't make me regret it.

我并不轻易相信别人，所以当我跟你说“我相信你”时，别让我后悔。

I made it through the day without beating anyone with a chair. I'd say my people skills are improving!.

我度过了没有用椅子砸别人的一天。我想说我的社交技能正在提高！

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap 8 people at once.

有时我希望自己是一只章鱼，这样我就能同时扇八个人了。

Be happy in front of people who don't like you, "it kills them".

在不喜欢的人面前开心，‘这会让他们痛不欲生’。

Two mysterious people live in my house. Somebody & nobody. Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

两个神秘人住在我的房子里。某人＆没人。某人做的，没人知道是谁。