嘉莉妹妹(Sister Carrie) 第十四章

Chapter 14

WITH EYES AND NOT SEEING--ONE INFLUENCE WANES

Carrie in her rooms that evening was in a fine glow, physically and mentally. She was deeply rejoicing in her affection for Hurstwood and his love, and looked forward with fine fancy to their next meeting Sunday night. They had agreed, without any feeling of enforced secrecy, that she should come down town and meet him, though, after all, the need of it was the cause.

Mrs. Hale, from her upper window, saw her come in.

"Um," she thought to herself, "she goes riding with another man when her husband is out of the city. He had better keep an eye on her."

The truth is that Mrs. Hale was not the only one who had a thought on this score. The housemaid who had welcomed Hurstwood had her opinion also. She had no particular regard for Carrie, whom she took to be cold and disagreeable. At the same time, she had a fancy for the merry and easy-mannered Drouet, who threw her a pleasant remark now and then, and in other ways extended her the evidence of that regard which he had for all members of the sex. Hurstwood was more reserved and critical in his manner. He did not appeal to this bodiced functionary in the same pleasant way. She wondered that he came so frequently, that Mrs. Drouet should go out with him this afternoon when Mr. Drouet was absent. She gave vent to her opinions in the kitchen where the cook was. As a result, a hum of gossip was set going which moved about the house in that secret manner common to gossip.

Carrie, now that she had yielded sufficiently to Hurstwood to confess her affection, no longer troubled about her attitude towards him. Temporarily she gave little thought to Drouet, thinking only of the dignity and grace of her lover and of his consuming affection for her. On the first evening, she did little but go over the details of the afternoon. It was the first time her sympathies had ever been thoroughly aroused, and they threw a new light on her character. She had some power of initiative, latent before, which now began to exert itself. She looked more practically upon her state and began to see glimmerings of a way out. Hurstwood seemed a drag in the direction of honour. Her feelings were exceedingly creditable, in that they constructed out of these recent developments something which conquered freedom from dishonour. She had no idea what Hurstwood's next word would be. She only took his affection to be a fine thing, and appended better, more generous results accordingly.

As yet, Hurstwood had only a thought of pleasure without responsibility. He did not feel that he was doing anything to complicate his life. His position was secure, his home-life, if not satisfactory, was at least undisturbed, his personal liberty rather untrammelled. Carrie's love represented only so much added pleasure. He would enjoy this new gift over and above his ordinary allowance of pleasure. He would be happy with her and his own affairs would go on as they had, undisturbed.

On Sunday evening Carrie dined with him at a place he had selected in East Adams Street, and thereafter they took a cab to what was then a pleasant evening resort out on Cottage Grove Avenue near 39th Street. In the process of his declaration he soon realised that Carrie took his love upon a higher basis than he had anticipated. She kept him at a distance in a rather earnest way, and submitted only to those tender tokens of affection which better become the inexperienced lover. Hurstwood saw that she was not to be possessed for the asking, and deferred pressing his suit too warmly.

Since he feigned to believe in her married state he found that he had to carry out the part. His triumph, he saw, was still at a little distance. How far he could not guess.

They were returning to Ogden Place in the cab, when he asked:

"When will I see you again?"

"I don't know," she answered, wondering herself.

"Why not come down to The Fair," he suggested, "next Tuesday?"

She shook her head.

"Not so soon," she answered.

"I'll tell you what I'll do," he added. "I'll write you, care of this West Side Post-office. Could you call next Tuesday?"

Carrie assented.

The cab stopped one door out of the way according to his call.

"Good-night," he whispered, as the cab rolled away.

Unfortunately for the smooth progression of this affair, Drouet returned. Hurstwood was sitting in his imposing little office the next afternoon when he saw Drouet enter.

"Why, hello, Charles," he called affably; "back again?"

"Yes," smiled Drouet, approaching and looking in at the door.

Hurstwood arose.

"Well," he said, looking the drummer over, "rosy as ever, eh?"

They began talking of the people they knew and things that had happened.

"Been home yet?" finally asked Hurstwood.

"No, I am going, though," said Drouet.

"I remembered the little girl out there," said Hurstwood, "and called once. Thought you wouldn't want her left quite alone."

"Right you are," agreed Drouet. "How is she?"

"Very well," said Hurstwood. "Rather anxious about you though. You'd better go out now and cheer her up."

"I will," said Drouet, smilingly.

"Like to have you both come down and go to the show with me Wednesday," concluded Hurstwood at parting.

"Thanks, old man," said his friend, "I'll see what the girl says and let you know."

They separated in the most cordial manner.

"There's a nice fellow," Drouet thought to himself as he turned the corner towards Madison.

"Drouet is a good fellow," Hurstwood thought to himself as he went back into his office, "but he's no man for Carrie."

The thought of the latter turned his mind into a most pleasant vein, and he wandered how he would get ahead of the drummer.

When Drouet entered Carrie's presence, he caught her in his arms as usual, but she responded to his kiss with a tremour of opposition.

"Well," he said, "I had a great trip."

"Did you? How did you come out with that La Crosse man you were telling me about?"

"Oh, fine; sold him a complete line. There was another fellow there, representing Burnstein, a regular hook-nosed sheeny, but he wasn't in it. I made him look like nothing at all."

As he undid his collar and unfastened his studs, preparatory to washing his face and changing his clothes, he dilated upon his trip. Carrie could not help listening with amusement to his animated descriptions.

"I tell you," he said, "I surprised the people at the office. I've sold more goods this last quarter than any other man of our house on the road. I sold three thousand dollars' worth in La Crosse."

He plunged his face in a basin of water, and puffed and blew as he rubbed his neck and ears with his hands, while Carrie gazed upon him with mingled thoughts of recollection and present judgment. He was still wiping his face, when he continued:

"I'm going to strike for a raise in June. They can afford to pay it, as much business as I turn in. I'll get it too, don't you forget."

"I hope you do," said Carrie.

"And then if that little real estate deal I've got on goes through, we'll get married," he said with a great show of earnestness, the while he took his place before the mirror and began brushing his hair.

"I don't believe you ever intend to marry me, Charlie," Carrie said ruefully. The recent protestations of Hurstwood had given her courage to say this.

"Oh, yes I do--course I do--what put that into your head?"

He had stopped his trifling before the mirror now and crossed over to her. For the first time Carrie felt as if she must move away from him.

"But you've been saying that so long," she said, looking with her pretty face upturned into his.

"Well, and I mean it too, but it takes money to live as I want to. Now, when I get this increase, I can come pretty near fixing things all right, and I'll do it. Now, don't you worry, girlie."

He patted her reassuringly upon the shoulder, but Carrie felt how really futile had been her hopes. She could clearly see that this easy-going soul intended no move in her behalf. He was simply letting things drift because he preferred the free round of his present state to any legal trammellings.

In contrast, Hurstwood appeared strong and sincere. He had no easy manner of putting her off. He sympathised with her and showed her what her true value was. He needed her, while Drouet did not care.

"Oh, no," she said remorsefully, her tone reflecting some of her own success and more of her helplessness, "you never will."

"Well, you wait a little while and see," he concluded. "I'll marry you all right."

Carrie looked at him and felt justified. She was looking for something which would calm her conscience, and here it was, a light, airy disregard of her claims upon his justice. He had faithfully promised to marry her, and this was the way he fulfilled his promise.

"Say," he said, after he had, as he thought, pleasantly disposed of the marriage question, "I saw Hurstwood to-day, and he wants us to go to the theatre with him."

Carrie started at the name, but recovered quickly enough to avoid notice.

"When?" she asked, with assumed indifference.

"Wednesday. We'll go, won't we?"

"If you think so," she answered, her manner being so enforcedly reserved as to almost excite suspicion. Drouet noticed something but he thought it was due to her feelings concerning their talk about marriage.

"He called once, he said."

"Yes," said Carrie, "he was out here Sunday evening."

"Was he?" said Drouet. "I thought from what he said that he had called a week or so ago."

"So he did," answered Carrie, who was wholly unaware of what conversation her lovers might have held. She was all at sea mentally, and fearful of some entanglement which might ensue from what she would answer.

"Oh, then he called twice?" said Drouet, the first shade of misunderstanding showing in his face.

"Yes," said Carrie innocently, feeling now that Hurstwood must have mentioned but one call.

Drouet imagined that he must have misunderstood his friend. He did not attach particular importance to the information, after all.

"What did he have to say?" he queried, with slightly increased curiosity.

"He said he came because he thought I might be lonely. You hadn't been in there so long he wondered what had become of you."

"George is a fine fellow," said Drouet, rather gratified by his conception of the manager's interest. "Come on and we'll go out to dinner."

When Hurstwood saw that Drouet was back he wrote at once to Carrie, saying:

"I told him I called on you, dearest, when he was away. I did not say how often, but he probably thought once. Let me know of anything you may have said. Answer by special messenger when you get this, and, darling, I must see you. Let me know if you can't meet me at Jackson and Throop Streets Wednesday afternoon at two o'clock. I want to speak with you before we meet at the theatre."

Carrie received this Tuesday morning when she called at the West Side branch of the post-office, and answered at once.

"I said you called twice," she wrote. "He didn't seem to mind. I will try and be at Throop Street if nothing interferes. I seem to be getting very bad. It's wrong to act as I do, I know."

Hurstwood, when he met her as agreed, reassured her on this score.

"You mustn't worry, sweetheart," he said. "Just as soon as he goes on the road again we will arrange something. We'll fix it so that you won't have to deceive any one."

Carrie imagined that he would marry her at once, though he had not directly said so, and her spirits rose. She proposed to make the best of the situation until Drouet left again.

"Don't show any more interest in me than you ever have," Hurstwood counselled concerning the evening at the theatre.

"You mustn't look at me steadily then," she answered, mindful of the power of his eyes.

"I won't," he said, squeezing her hand at parting and giving the glance she had just cautioned against.

"There," she said playfully, pointing a finger at him.

"The show hasn't begun yet," he returned.

He watched her walk from him with tender solicitation. Such youth and prettiness reacted upon him more subtly than wine.

At the theatre things passed as they had in Hurstwood's favour. If he had been pleasing to Carrie before, how much more so was he now. His grace was more permeating because it found a readier medium. Carrie watched his every movement with pleasure. She almost forgot poor Drouet, who babbled on as if he were the host.

Hurstwood was too clever to give the slightest indication of a change. He paid, if anything, more attention to his old friend than usual, and yet in no way held him up to that subtle ridicule which a lover in favour may so secretly practise before the mistress of his heart. If anything, he felt the injustice of the game as it stood, and was not cheap enough to add to it the slightest mental taunt.

Only the play produced an ironical situation, and this was due to Drouet alone.

The scene was one in "The Covenant," in which the wife listened to the seductive voice of a lover in the absence of her husband.

"Served him right," said Drouet afterward, even in view of her keen expiation of her error. "I haven't any pity for a man who would be such a chump as that."

"Well, you never can tell," returned Hurstwood gently. "He probably thought he was right."

"Well, a man ought to be more attentive than that to his wife if he wants to keep her."

They had come out of the lobby and made their way through the showy crush about the entrance way.

"Say, mister," said a voice at Hurstwood's side, "would you mind giving me the price of a bed?"

Hurstwood was interestedly remarking to Carrie.

"Honest to God, mister, I'm without a place to sleep."

The plea was that of a gaunt-faced man of about thirty, who looked the picture of privation and wretchedness. Drouet was the first to see. He handed over a dime with an upwelling feeling of pity in his heart. Hurstwood scarcely noticed the incident. Carrie quickly forgot.

第十四章

视而不见：一方影响下降

那天晚上嘉莉在自己的房间里身心都极为振奋。她为他们相互之间的爱情欢欣鼓舞，带着种种美妙的想象，热切地等待着星期天晚上的幽会。他们已约好她去市中心和他见面。虽然他们并没有感到需要特别保密，但是这么安排归根结底还是为了保密。

海尔太太从她楼上的窗口看见她回来。

“哼，”她心里想，“她丈夫不在家，她就跟别的男人一起去坐车兜风。他对她该留点神才对呢。”事实上，并不是海尔太太一个人对这件事有看法。那个给赫斯渥开门的公寓女仆也有看法。她对嘉莉没有多少好感，她认为她冷漠难相处。相反她很喜欢杜洛埃，他开心随和，不时和她逗个趣，献点小殷勤，这是他对所有女性的一贯作风。赫斯渥的神气显得沉默寡言好挑剔，他不像杜洛埃那样能讨得这个穿紧身胸衣的女仆的喜欢。她很奇怪他怎么来得这么勤奋，奇怪杜洛埃太太在先生不在家时竟然和这个人一起出去。

她在厨房里对厨子发表了她的看法，结果风言风语就在整幢公寓里悄悄地传开了。一般流言蜚语都是这样传播的。

嘉莉现在既然不再拒绝赫斯渥的爱，也承认了自己对他的爱，就不再操心自己这种态度对不对，暂时她已几乎把杜洛埃忘了。她心里只想着她的情人多么体面有风度，他的爱情多么热烈和不顾一切。这天晚上她几乎什么也不干，只顾回忆那天下午的种种细枝末节。有生以来第一次，她的全部同情心被激发了，使她的性格焕发出新的光辉。她身上潜在的主动精神开始表现出来，她开始更实际地考虑自己的处境。在她的困境中她现在似乎看到了一线光明：赫斯渥似乎是引她走上体面道路的力量。她对赫斯渥的感情并没有一丝邪念。从他们最近的感情发展中，她想象赫斯渥将能使她摆脱目前这种不体面的生活。她不知道赫斯渥接下来会对她说些什么，她只是把他的爱当作一种美好的东西，因此她想象他们的感情会有更美好更高尚的结果。

然而赫斯渥只想寻欢作乐，并没有打算负什么责任。他并不认为他现在所做的会给他引起家庭纠葛。他的地位稳固，家庭生活虽然不尽人意还是太平无事，他的个人自由也没有受到限制。嘉莉的爱只是增添了他的生活乐趣，一份额外的乐趣，他要好好享受这天赐良缘。痛痛快快和她玩玩，不过他的生活的其他方面还会一切照旧，不受什么影响。

星期天晚上，在他挑选的东亚当路上一家餐馆里他和嘉莉共进晚餐。饭后他们叫了一辆马车去一家有趣的夜总会，在三十九大街附近的高塔格鲁路上。在他求爱过程中，他不久就认识到嘉莉对他的期待超出了他的打算。她认真地和他保持着一定的距离，除了初恋情人之间那种温柔的爱的表示以外，她不让他有任何非份的举动。赫斯渥看出她并不是那种唾手可得的姑娘，因此推迟了他的热切求欢的要求。

既然他原先假装相信她已经结婚，他发现他还得假装下去。他看出他离成功还差着一点儿距离，但是这距离究竟有多大他也不知道。

他们坐出租马车回奥登广场时，他问：

“下一次我什么时候能见到你？”

“我不知道，”她回答，心里自己也没有底。

“星期二到大商场来，你看怎么样？”他提议说。

她摇了摇头。

“不要那么频繁，”她回答。

“我看这么办吧，”他又说，“我写信给你，由西区邮局转交。星期二你能出来吗？”嘉莉同意了。

按他的招呼，马车在离公寓还有一间门面的地方停了下来。

“晚安，”马车又起动时，他低低地说。

正当他们关系顺利进展时，杜洛埃很不作美地回来了。第二天下午赫斯渥正坐在他那漂亮的小办公室里，看见杜洛埃走了进来。

“喂，你好啊，查理，”他亲热地喊道，“回来了？”“是啊，”杜洛埃笑嘻嘻地走了过来，站在办公室门口探头朝里看。

赫斯渥站了起来。

“嘿，”他打量着推销员说，“气色和往常一样好，是吧？”他们开始谈起那些他们认识的人和发生的事情。

“回过家了吗？”最后赫斯渥问道。

“还没有，不过我正打算回去，”杜洛埃说。

“我想起了你那个小姑娘，”赫斯渥说。“所以我去看了她一下。我想你不会要她一个人太冷清吧。”“你说得对，”杜洛埃表示赞同。“她怎么样？”“很好，”赫斯渥说，“不过非常想你。你最好马上回去，让她高兴高兴。”“我这就走，”杜洛埃笑嘻嘻地说。

“我想请你们两位星期三过来，和我一起去看场戏。”分手时赫斯渥说。

“多谢了，老兄，”他的朋友说，“我问问嘉莉，再和你联系。”他们非常热情地分了手。

“真是个好人，”杜洛埃转身朝麦迪生街走去，一边心里这么想。

“杜洛埃人不错，”赫斯渥回身走进办公室时心里在说，“就是配不上嘉莉。”想到嘉莉，他心里充满了愉快，一心琢磨着怎么才能赢了这个推销员，把嘉莉夺过来。

像往常一样，杜洛埃见了嘉莉，就一把将她抱在怀里。可是她颤栗地抗拒着他的亲吻。

“你知道吗？”他说，“我这一趟旗开得胜。”“是吗？你上次和我说的那笔和拉克劳斯人的生意做得怎么样？”“嗯，很不错。我卖给他整整一批货。还有一个家伙也在那里，是代表贝斯坦公司的，一个十足的鹰钩鼻子犹太佬。但是他一点生意也没有做成，我完全把他比下去了。”他一边解开领子和饰扣准备洗脸换衣服，一边添油加醋地说着路上的新闻。嘉莉对于他的生动描绘不禁听得津津有味。

“我告诉你吧，”他说，“我让办公室的那些人大吃一惊。这一季度我卖出去的货比我们商号任何一个旅行推销员卖出的都多。光在拉克劳斯城里我就卖了３０００元的货。”他把头浸到一脸盆水里，一边用手擦着脖子和耳朵，一边喷着气清鼻子。嘉莉在一旁看着他，心里思绪万千，一会儿回忆着往事，一会儿又想起她现在对他的看法。他擦着脸继续说：“我６月份要争取加薪。我给他们做成了这么多生意，他们可以付得起的。你可别忘了，我一定能提薪的。”“但愿你能如愿以偿，”嘉莉说。

“等我那笔小地产生意做成了，我们就结婚，”他站在镜子前梳理头发时，做出一副一本正经的样子说。

“我才不相信你会和我结婚呢，查理，”嘉莉幽怨地说。赫斯渥最近的信誓旦旦使她有了勇气这么说。

“不对，我当然要和你结婚的-—一定要娶你的--你怎么会这么想呢？”他停止了镜子前的梳理，现在朝她走过来。嘉莉第一次感到她似乎该躲开他才对。

“可你这话已经说了这么久了，”她仰起她美丽的脸庞看着他说。

“不错，可是我说这话是真心的。不过我们得有钱才能照我的心愿安排生活。等我加了薪，事情就会差不多了，我们就可以结婚了。别担心，你这个小丫头。”他安慰地拍拍她的肩膀让她宽心。但是嘉莉感到她的希望实在太渺茫了。她很清楚地看出。这个只想逍遥自在地打发日子的家伙根本没有娶她的意思。他只想让事情拖着，因为他喜欢目前这种无拘无束的生活方式，他不想结婚受法律的束缚。

和他相比，赫斯渥显得可靠真诚，他的举止里没有对她推诿搪塞漫不经心的意思。他同情她，让她看到她自己的真正价值。他需要她，而杜洛埃根本不在乎。

“哼，你才不会呢，”她埋怨地说，口气里带着一丝胜利，但更多的是无可奈何，“你永远不会的。”“那你就等着瞧吧。”他结束了这个话题，“我一定要娶你的。”嘉莉看着他，感到心安理得了。她一直在寻找让自己问心无愧的理由，现在她找到了。瞧他那副轻漂漂的不负责任的态度，对于她要求结婚的正当要求不加理会。他只会极力表白他要娶她，这就是他履行诺言的方式。

“你知道吗，”在自以为已经圆满地解决了婚姻这个话题以后，他又开口说，“我今天见到赫斯渥了。他请我们和他一起去看戏。"听到他提起赫斯渥，嘉莉吃了一惊。但是她很快恢复了镇定，没有引起杜洛埃的注意。

“什么时候？”她装着冷淡地问道。

“星期三。我们去好吗？”

“你说去就去吧，”她回答。她的态度冷淡到几乎要引起疑心。杜洛埃也注意到她的情绪有点反常，但是他把这一点归结为刚才谈论结婚引起的不快。

“他说，他来看了你一次。”

“是的，”嘉莉说，“他星期天晚上来了一下。”“是吗？”杜洛埃说，“我听他的口气，还以为他一个星期前来的呢。”“上星其他也来了，”嘉莉说。她不知道她的两个情人到底谈了些什么，心里一片茫然，生怕自己的回答会引起什么麻烦。

“噢，这么说，他来了两次？”杜洛埃问，脸上开始露出困惑的神色。

“是的，”嘉莉一脸纯洁无邪地说。现在她心里明白赫斯渥一定只提到一次来访。

杜洛埃猜想一定是自己误会了他朋友的话。对这事他并没有放在心上，没有感到它的严重性。

“他说些什么呢？”他微微好奇地问。

“他说他来是因为怕我一个人太寂寞。你那么长时候没去他那里，他不知道你怎么样了。”“乔治真是个好人，”杜洛埃说，自以为经理先生对他很关心，因此心里很高兴。“你快收拾一下，我们出去吃晚饭。”赫斯渥等杜洛埃走了，赶忙给嘉莉写信说：“最最亲爱的：他走时，我告诉他我来看了你。我没有说几次，但是他也许以为只有一次。把你对他说的话告诉我。收到这封信以后，请专差送信给我。亲亲，我必须见你。请告诉我能不能在星期三下午两点到杰克逊街和萨洛浦街的转弯处来。在戏院见面以前，我必须和你谈谈。”嘉莉星期二上午到西区邮局去拿到了这封信，马上写了回信。

“我说你来了两次，”她写道，“他似乎没有放在心上。如果没有事打岔的话，我会到萨洛浦街去的。我现在似乎越变越坏了。我知道我现在这样做是很不对的。”他们照约定的时间见面时，赫斯渥让她在这一点上不要担心。

“你不要为此不安，亲爱的，”他说，“等他下次出门做生意，我们就来安排一下。我们把这事解决了，你就不用再说谎了。”尽管他没有这么说，可是嘉莉以为他打算马上和她结婚，因此情绪非常兴奋。她提出在杜洛埃离开以前，他们要尽量维持目前的局面。

“你要像以前一样，不要对我露出过份的兴趣，”谈到晚上看戏的事，赫斯渥对嘉莉提出忠告说。

“那你不准这么盯着我看，”想到他的眼睛的魅力，她于是就提醒他。

“保证不盯着你看。”他们分手时，他紧紧握着她的手，又用她才告诫他的那种目光凝视着她。

“瞧，你又来了，”她调皮地用一个手指头点着他说。

“现在还没有到晚上看戏的时候呢，”他回答。

他温情脉脉地看着她离去，眼光中满含着乞求般的恋恋不舍。如此青春的美色，比醇酒更令他沉醉入迷。

在戏院里，事情的进展也对赫斯渥非常有利。如果说他以前就讨嘉莉的欢心，那么他现在越发如此了。他的风度因为有人赏识显得更加迷人。嘉莉以欣喜的心情注意着他的一举一动，几乎把杜洛埃给忘了。可怜的杜洛埃还在滔滔不绝地往下说，好像他是东道主似的。

赫斯渥非常机灵。他一点不动声色，不让人感到和以前有什么不一样。如果说他有什么不同，那就是他对他的老朋友比以前更关心了。他不像通常得宠的情人那样，拿自己的情敌在心上人面前开胃醒脾地打趣。在目前这场游戏中，如果他感到对他的对手有所不公的话，他还不至于卑劣到在这不公之上再加上些精神上的嘲弄。

只是戏里有一幕似乎是在嘲讽杜洛埃，不过这也怪杜洛埃自己不好。

台上正在演《婚约》中的一常戏里的妻子在丈夫出外时听凭她的情人勾引她。

“那是他活该，”这一场结束时杜洛埃说，尽管那个妻子已竭力要赎前愆。“我对这种榆木脑瓜的家伙一点也不可怜。”“不过，这种事也很难说的，”赫斯渥温和地说，“他也许认为他是对的呢。”“好吧，一个男人想保住自己的老妻，他就该对她更加关心一点才对。”他们已经出了休息室，穿过戏院门口那些盛装华服的人群出来。

“先生，行行好，”有一个声音在赫斯渥身边说，“您能给点儿钱，让我今晚有个过夜的地方吗？”赫斯渥和嘉莉正说到兴头上。

“先生，真的，我今晚连个过夜的地方也没有。”求乞的是一个３０左右的男人，脸色消瘦憔悴，一副穷困凄惨的模样。杜洛埃首先看到了。他递给他１角钱，心里涌起一阵同情。赫斯渥几乎没有注意到这件事，嘉莉转眼就把它忘了。