工作量太大,爱却太少
Dina Glouberman's voice softens as she remembers some of the most challenging moments of her life. The year was 1971 and 25-year-old Dina had just been hospitalised following a mental breakdown. Over the previous weeks, Dina had been suffering with depression and delusions that she was an FBI target. It had been a difficult few months for Dina. Originally from New York, she'd moved to England to work in a hospital, but she'd struggled to feel at home in Britain. She missed her family and friends dreadfully, and felt incredibly isolated, despite a serious relationship with her partner Yannis, a Greek journalist in exile. But mainly, she was working too hard, juggling lecturing in psychology, writing a book, seeing therapy clients and studying for a PhD. 'One of my theories about having the breakdown is what I call too much work, not enough love,' she says. 'I knew I was slipping into a breakdown, I could feel it. My biggest fear was winding up in a back ward of some hospital, just having to watch TV all day.' Her paranoid fantasies became stronger by the day. Dina was convinced she was an FBI target, and that some people were trying to poison her. The turning point came one day when she was walking through North London and had the sudden realisation she didn't know what era she was in. 'There was a fashion at that time for long dresses and also mini-skirts, and the contrast confused me - suddenly I couldn't tell which century I was in. I stopped at a bakery to buy some biscuits but I wasn't sure I had the right money because I didn't know what the currency should be. It was a terrible confusion, and I walked home in the pouring rain. When I got home Yannis thought I looked completely drowned and warped, and that's when he called the doctors to hospitalise me.' But when Dina arrived at Middlesex Hospital, she felt certain the doctors were FBI agents trying to arrest her and fought them as much as she could. Eventually, they succeeded in admitting her to the psychiatric unit, where she would spend several months. |