不生小孩会被同事鄙视?
Hi, Carolyn: I was making small talk at work when a woman asked if I had children. I said no. She expressed pity that I hadn't experienced life's greatest joy and said she couldn't understand why women these days prioritize careers over family. She added that parenthood is a prerequisite for being a good manager since women without children lack the maturity necessary to lead teams. Carolyn, it wasn't my choice not to have kids, and this is a painful subject for me. In my 20s, I would have brushed this off and changed the subject, but now I am in my 40s struggling to save for retirement on a salary that falls far below that of my married-with-children peers in the same profession. I have been passed over even though I have always had outstanding performance evaluations. I am always expected to work overtime and take a hit for the team because I don't have kids, yet I am also resented and belittled for it. So, this time I calmly asked her, "Do you think having a genetic disease makes a person immature? Do you think watching an 8-year-old relative die of said genetic disease makes a person immature? There are a lot of reasons people don't have kids, and a lot of paths to maturity." That did not go over well. Now my presence clears the room. What should I have said? Should I just keep ignoring such comments and changing the subject? - Childless in the Workplace Childless in the Workplace: You told her what she deserved to hear in response to her cruel, grossly unfounded prejudice. I'm glad you said what you did. It bears saying anyway: You said what you deemed appropriate at the time, in response to an attack on your core values and competence. She's fortunate to have left this encounter. (Not that I condone that, of course.) So while it's normal to replay and second-guess what you said, especially given the reception you're getting at work, I hope you'll embrace your answer as an act of self-care. |