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"Promise me two things"
“答应我两件事。”
Not today, Dad, I thought.
不，不要在今天，爸爸。我这样想着。
Please not today.
求求你，别在今天说这样的话。
But my plea went unheeded .
但我的祈祷没有应验
When my father had something to say, he said it.
当爸爸想要说什么的时候，他就一定会说出口。
"Promise me I'll die in my own bed."
“答应我，我会死在自己的床上。”
Really, Dad, can't this wait?
真要这样吗？爸爸？这件事就不能等一等吗？
"Promise me I won't die alone."
“答应我，我不会孤孤单单的死去。”
There it was.
事情果然发生了。
Almost three years ago Dad asked me to make those promises .
三年前，我爸爸请我答应他这两个请求
Foolishly, I promised him he would die in his own bed,
傻傻的我做出了承诺，我保证他会死在自己的床上
and he wouldn't die alone.
并且，他不会孤孤单单的死去
Predictably, I broke both promises.
可想而知，我没有实现自己的承诺
I gazed at my two-year-old grandson.
我看着自己两岁的孙子
Yes, two years old today, his birthday.
是的，今天他满两岁了，今天是他的生日
I was babysitting
现在我正看着孩子
while his dad and mom shopped, buying, decorations,
他的父母忙着购物，采买装饰品
an expensive bakery cake
他们还买了一个很贵的蛋糕
and overly indulgent gifts for the party later in the afternoon.
各种过分宠溺的生日礼物，一切都是为了今天下午的派对
"Promise me two things."
“答应我两件事”
He wouldn't let up.
他似乎不肯住嘴。
Stubborn in life, he was just as stubborn in death.
生前是个倔脾气，死后他仍是个倔脾气
Or perhaps that was me, stubborn in my own right.
又或者那是我自己，是我自己在对自己执拗
And why not?
为什么不能这样呢？
I was his daughter, one of three.
我是父亲的女儿，是他的三个女儿之一
We all seemed to have inherited his stubborn gene.
我们似乎都继承了他倔强的性格基因
Thanks, Dad.
多谢了，老爸
"Promise me two things."
“答应我两件事”
The voice from the grave.
这是来自生命彼岸的声音
Or was it simply my own guilt ridden imagination?
又或者，这只是我备受歉疚感折磨的良心产生的想象？
Whichever, I wished it would leave me alone today.
无论如何，我都希望这个声音不要在今天来烦我
Come on, Dad,
拜托了，爸爸
let me enjoy my grandson's birthday.
请让我开开心心的度过孙子的生日吧
The little boy called to me,
我的小孙子 已经来到我面前
wanted me to see the masterpiece he was constructing in my yard.
他想让我看看他在院子里搭出的杰作
First things first.
事有先后
I lavished praise
我开始赞不绝口
and admiration on the little fellow's house – fort – whatever.
对这个小家伙搭出的房子——还是说，城堡？——随便叫它什么吧——大肆赞美
He beamed up at me,
他对我咧嘴一笑
a smile that never failed to warm my heart.
这样的微笑每次都能温暖我的心
I blinked back my tears.
我竭力止住眼泪
Two years after my beautiful grandson was born.
距离我可爱的小孙孙出生那天，已经过去两年了。
It was also two years to the day following my dad's death.
同样过去两年了，就在孙孙出生的前一天，我爸爸去世了
A memory so vivid.
记忆还是如此鲜活
I sat by my dad's hospital bed,
我坐在父亲的病床前
his home for the last month.
最后的这个月里，病房就是他的家
Yes, it had been a full month
天呐，这个月够我受的
since I had broken my first promise.
因为我违背了自己的第一个诺言
But what else could I have done?
可是，我还能做什么呢
The battle against his cancer was lost.
与癌症病魔的斗争已经失败了
All that was left was to keep him comfortable
我们最后所能做的，就是让他舒舒服服的
and manage his pain.
帮他止痛
My sisters were right.
我的妹妹是对的
It was too big a task for me,
这样的负担对我来说太过沉重
for all of us.
对我们三个都是如此
So we, I, decided his remaining days would be in a hospital.
所以，我们三个，我，决定他最后的日子应该在医院度过
Determined to keep one of my promises,
但我决定一定要信守自己的第二个承诺
I made sure he was never alone.
我竭力确保他不是一个人
And then came that blessed, horrible day, exactly two years ago.
然后那个日子来了，那个既被祝福，又恐怖的日子，恰好就是两年前的今天
It was early morning.
那是清晨的时候
I was alone with Dad,
我独自和爸爸在一起
would be until the evening when one of my sisters promised to spare me.
我要守着他一整天，直到晚上，我的一个妹妹才能来换班
My son called on my cell, exuberant .
我儿子打来了电话，声音万分激动
It's started! Water broke.
他妻子已经发作了。羊水破了。
Now, if only my daughter-in-law could hold off delivery until my sister came.
现在，我只希望我的儿媳妇能忍住，到我妹妹来换班时再把孩子生下来
I heard only my dad's respiration and cardiac monitor, monotonous sounds,
我听到爸爸的呼吸声，还有心电仪的声音，一切都那么单调乏味
my dad's only voice for over a week.
一周以来，这是我爸爸发出的唯一的声音
I couldn't stand it.
我已经忍无可忍
A nurse directed me to the maternity ward, two floors up.
一个护士带我来到了妇产科的病区，就在父亲的病区上面两层楼
Mother is about to deliver.
我孙子的妈妈就要生了
Yes, everything is fine.
是的，情况很好
No, you can't go in.
但是你不能进去
Shall I show you to the family waiting room?
让我把你带到家属休息室去吧？
I declined, thanking the nurse
我婉拒，谢过护士
as I headed back to the stairs.
然后转头冲下楼梯
I was too late.
但一切都太迟了
I knew before I reached his room,
在到达爸爸的病房前，我冥冥中就知道了
before I saw the nurses unhook his monitors.
我看到护士正把检测仪的管子从爸爸身上摘下来
I broke my second promise.
我违背了我的第二个诺言
Dad had died alone.
爸爸是一个人孤孤单单的死去的
It had been a strange day,
那一天很奇怪
an emotionally exhausting day.
我感觉自己的所有情绪都被耗尽了
Joy, sorrow, guilt.
快乐，悲伤，歉疚
The miracle of new life, my grandson,
那个新诞生的生命的奇迹，我的小孙孙
and a terrible failure, my broken promise.
还有一场惨痛的挫败，我违背的诺言
"Promise me I will die in my own bed."
“答应我，我会死在自己的床上”
"Promise me I won't die alone."
“答应我，我不会一个人孤孤单单的去死”
It was all too much.
我感到难以承受
I sat on the grass and wept,
我坐在草地上，低声哭泣起来
my head buried in my hands.
我把脸埋在两只手下面
I felt two little hands, little but strong,
但我感到两只手的触碰，小小的，却强而有力
pull my own hands away from my face.
把我的手从我脸上拿开
I looked into the smiling face of my Grandson.
在我眼前，是小孙孙的笑脸
"Poppa!"
“曾爷爷！”
I blinked, looked at him closely.
我疑惑的眨眨眼睛，直直的看着他
"Poppa!"
曾爷爷！
The little boy pulled on my hand,
小家伙拉着我的手
compelled me to stand and follow him into the house.
要我站起来，跟着他走进屋里
He led me into my living room
他把我带到客厅
and pointed to a drawer in the desk.
指着桌子下面的抽屉
"Poppa."
曾爷爷！
I opened the drawer and took out the picture, Dad's s picture,
我打开抽屉，拿出一张照片，爸爸的照片
My father, a handsome man,
我的爸爸，一个英俊的男人
smiling out at a world full of optimism and hope.
正对着镜头微笑，笑容中满满的乐观和希望
The picture been taken six months before the diagnoses ,
这张照片是他被诊断为癌症前六个月拍的
before the world became full of suffering and pain.
在整个世界充满折磨和痛苦之前
"Poppa!" My grandson held the picture, smiling.
“曾爷爷！”小孙孙拿着照片微笑道。
A smile full of optimism and hope.
笑容中满满的乐观和希望
How had he known about that photo?
他怎么会知道这张照片呢？
How did he know it was his great grandfather?
他怎么会知道，照片上的是他的曾爷爷？
I had never shown him the picture,
我从没给他看过这张照片
had never taken it out of the drawer since shortly after my dad's death.
爸爸死后没多久，我就把它收进了抽屉，从未取出来过
A new life entering the world exactly the moment an old life leaves.
一个新生命来到这个世界时，恰好另一个老的生命离开
Could these two lives have somehow passed each other,
或许，这两个生命早就相遇过
maybe even knew each other?
甚至，他们已经相识？
Two souls passing,
两个灵魂擦肩而过
one entering the world, the other departing.
一个要进入这个世界，另一个要离开
Perhaps Dad didn't die alone after all.
或许，爸爸并不是一个人孤孤单单的死去
Of course I'll never really know.
虽然，我永远也无法知道真相
My dad still talks to me on occasion.
有的时候，我还能感觉到爸爸对我说话
His words still make me cry, but for a different reason.
他说的话仍会让我泪流满面，但却是出于另一种原因
"This is my daughter, with whom I am well pleased."
我常听到他说，“这是我的女儿，我对她十分满意。” |
