《玩具总动员》第2章

The peaceful bedroom erupted into chaos. Woody held up his hands. "Stay calm, everyone!" he shouted with authority.

CRUNCH!

Too late. Like a herd of stampeding cattle, the toys bolted over Woody toward the bedroom window. Even Mike yanked his microphone out of Woody's hand and hopped away.

Woody reeled, staring as the crowd rushed off. Then he shrugged and announced, "Uh, meeting adjourned." No one heard him. They were already plastered to the windowpane.

Hamm gulped as he gazed through the window, down into the front yard. "Oh, boy. Will ya take a look at all those presents?"

"I can't see a thing!" Mr. Potato Head complained. He pulled his eyes out of his head and held them above the crowd, aimed out the window.

He and the other toys stared in horror. On the street below, kids sprang from their parents' cars, each carrying an object that struck fear into the hearts of Andy's toys.

Birthday presents.

Hamm shook his head. "Yes sir, we're next month's garage sale fodder for sure."

"Any dinosaur-shaped ones?" Rex asked worriedly.

"Ah, for crying out loud," Hamm jeered. "They're all in boxes!"

Rex said nervously, "They're getting bigger!"

"Wait!" said Slinky. "There's a nice little one over there."

He pointed at a boy who was facing away from the window. Only the tiny tip of a present showed. Then the boy turned. The present was more than four feet long!

"AAAAAHHHH!" screamed the toys.

"We're doomed!" Rex howled.

The toys began to wail and moan. Woody sighed. Things were getting way out of control. He had to do something fast, or he'd have a serious problem on his hands. "All right! All right!" he called out.

The toys turned and faced Woody. Never had he seen them look so frightened. He sighed and smiled affectionately at his friends. "If I send out the troops, will you all calm down?"

"Yes! Yes! We promise!" Rex cried.

Woody strode briskly toward the nightstand. "Sergeant!" he shouted up to the tabletop. "Establish a recon post downstairs. Code Red. You know what to do."

"Yes, SIR!" the little Green Army Man replied. He shinnied down a leg of the nightstand, then dashed to the corner, where a plastic container labeled BUCKET O' SOLDIERS stood.

Sarge shouted, and a platoon of green soldiers peeked out of the top of the bucket. "All right, men!" he barked. "You heard him. Code Red. Repeat: We are at Code Red!" He waved the group forward. "Let's move, move, move!"

One by one, the plastic soldiers jumped out of their bucket barracks and marched double-time in a line toward the door.

Creeeeaak… Andy's bedroom door eased open. A single Green Army scout crept into the upstairs hall, scoping for any signs of danger.

Satisfied that the coast was clear, the scout signaled to the other troops. Dozens of soldiers streamed forward, carefully transporting the specialized equipment they needed for their intelligence mission: a jump rope and a baby monitor.

The soldiers darted behind the banister and held their position. Sarge surveyed their route through binoculars.

Paratroopers crept to the edge of the landing, then bravely leaped off. Fwump! Their parachutes opened, carrying them safely to the polished wood floor below.

After a quick look around, they signaled to the soldiers who were waiting above. All clear! Seconds later, more soldiers slid down, using Andy's jump rope.

The troops marched toward the living room. Suddenly, a door opened. They heard footsteps. They froze in position. As Mrs. Davis came through the door, her shoe stomped down in the middle of the squad.

"What in the world?" She frowned at the toy army men scattered across the floor and shook her head. With Andy's party in full swing, she was too busy to stop and pick up toys. Using the toe of her shoe, she simply kicked the army men out of the way.

As soon as she was gone, Sarge motioned to the handful of men still waiting above on the stairs. Carefully they came down the jump rope, riding the baby monitor, which was tied securely and lowered to the floor. When everyone reached the ground, the soldiers quickly dragged the monitor toward a potted plant.

Sarge started to follow but noticed that one of his men had been injured. Holding his leg, the soldier waved for his commander to keep moving. "Go on without me!"

But Sarge would have none of that. "A good soldier never leaves a man behind," he said as he helped the injured soldier to his feet.

Suddenly, Sarge put a finger to his lips and cocked his head. More footsteps—lots of them. And they were coming this way!

Sarge dragged the injured soldier toward the living room. The two army men stumbled to safety behind the potted plant just as the first pair of feet stomped past.

The crew quickly set up the baby monitor. Sarge scanned the horizon with his binoculars. He spotted his target.

On the Davises' living room coffee table, a tower of gift-wrapped packages loomed toward the ceiling. Sarge whistled softly through his teeth, then leaned into the baby monitor.

"Come in, Mother Bird. This is Alpha Bravo."

Upstairs in Andy's room, Woody and his friends clustered around the receiver. "This is it!" Woody cried excitedly. "Quiet, quiet, quiet!"

Sarge's deep voice came through loud and clear. "Andy's opening the first present now." In the suspenseful silence, Mr. Potato Head crossed his fingers and chanted, "Mrs. Potato Head… Mrs. Potato Head . . ." Rex shot him a weird look.

"Hey, I can dream, can't I?" said Mr. Potato Head.

"The bow's coming off," Sarge's voice reported through the monitor. "He's ripping the wrapping paper… It's a… it's a…" The toys held their breath.

"It's a lunch box!" Sarge announced. "We've got a lunch box here!" The toys clapped and cheered.

"Okay," came Sarge's voice. "Second present." The toys hushed and leaned forward expectantly.

"It appears to be… Okay, it's bed sheets."

"Who invited that kid?" asked Mr. Potato Head. But again, Andy's toys were relieved. One by one, Sarge reported on each present as Andy unwrapped it. Each time it was good news. Slowly, the toys began to relax a little.

"Okay," Sarge said at last. "We're on the last present now. It's a big one. . . ." Every stuffed, plastic, and wooden head in Andy's room leaned forward.

"It's a… It's a board game!" Sarge revealed.

"Repeat: Battleship!" All the toys let out cheers of relief. Battleship was a toy they could all live with.

"All right!" Hamm shouted. He pounded Mr. Potato Head on the back so hard that his face parts flew off.

"Hey, watch it!" said Mr. Potato Head.

"Sorry there, old Spudhead," replied Hamm.

"So, did I tell you? Huh? Nothing to worry about," Woody said.

Slinky yipped happily. "I knew you were right all along, Woody. Never doubted you for a second."

Downstairs, Sarge congratulated his men. They began to pack up their equipment.

"Wait a minute!" The sound of Mrs. Davis's voice stopped Sarge in his tracks.

"Wait!" he whispered to his men.

Sarge watched, tense, as Mrs. Davis jumped up and hurried to the coat closet by the front door. She tossed a teasing look over her shoulder, then smiled. "Ooooh, what do we have here?"

"Turn that thing back on!" Sarge ordered, pointing at the baby monitor. A soldier rammed the switch.

"Come in, Mother Bird!" Sarge said frantically.

"Mom has pulled a surprise present from the closet. Andy's opening it. He's really excited! It's a huge package. Oh, one of the kids is in the way. I can't see."

At last, the kid moved out of the way. Sarge blinked. "It's… it's a…" Sarge and his soldiers gaped at the unwrapped present as the kids screamed in delight. It was worse than any of the toys could have imagined.

Upstairs, the rest of the toys waited, their hearts pounding. Rex grabbed a nightstand leg and shook it in frustration. "It's a what? What is it?" Thwack! The monitor fell off the table and its batteries rolled across the floor. All the toys were shouting. Mr. Potato Head pounced on the batteries and tried to stick them back into the monitor.

"No, no! Turn 'em around!" Woody hollered.

"You're puttin' 'em in backwards!" Hamm cried.

Woody shoved Hamm and Mr. Potato Head aside. He grabbed a battery and jammed it in the right way. As soon as he snapped the second one in, Sarge's voice crackled urgently across the room:

"Red Alert! Andy is coming upstairs! Juvenile intrusion. Repeat: Resume your positions now!"

"Andy's coming!" Woody shouted. "Everybody— back to your places. Hurry!" The toys scattered.

"Where's my ear?" Mr. Potato Head cried, scrambling across the floor. "Did you see my ear?"

Splat! Rex smashed into a trash can as the sound of pounding footsteps came closer and closer. The door banged open. Woody fell limp in his special spot on the bed just as Andy and his friends charged in. The kids were all jabbering at once.

"Hey, look! Its lasers light up."

"Take that, Zurg!" Andy cried. Then a mob of kids pounced on Andy's bed. Woody felt himself being shoved out of the way. He slid off the side of the bed and fell to the floor. His heart sank.

"Quick! Make a space! This is where the spaceship lands."

Woody tried desperately to see what they were talking about. But there were too many kids in the way. Still, he was sure of one thing: A brand-new toy had arrived.