《爱丽丝梦游仙境-1》第13章

The sun was peering over the distant hills, lighting flurries of dust from the red desert below. Inside the castle, the Red Queen stood in front of one of her mirrors, wearing one of the Hatter's enormous red hats. The Hatter tilted his head, regarding her with aloof disdain.

"No," the Queen said, removing the hat.

The Queen's courtiers gasped with forced delight and began to flutter around her.

"You are stunning in that hat!" cried the man with the enormous belly.

"Yes. Next," the Queen said.

The Hatter took off the Queen's hat and replaced it with another—this one featuring a huge brim that hid half her face. The Hatter smiled with satisfaction.

"Your Majesty has never looked better," cooed the woman with the gigantic nose. "Another," the Queen said. But before the Hatter could hat her head again, Lady Large Nose's nose fell to the floor.

"You dropped something," the Hatter said.

The woman's eyes widened as she realized what had happened. She felt for her nose, but found only her actual nose, which was quite a normal size. With a gasp, she grabbed the fake and quickly turned away to reattach it.

The Hatter's eyes narrowed suspiciously. Now he spotted the straps above the man's pants which held his false protruding belly in place. The woman turned back around with her long nose reattached, and the Hatter laughed out loud, not a mad laugh this time, but one of genuine amusement. The courtiers gave him a nervous look.

"Oh. Never mind him," the Queen said from under her hat, having missed the whole exchange. "He's mad." She waved one hand dismissively. "Come along."

The female courtier with the long ears came rushing into the room. She hurried over and whispered into the Queen's ear. The Queen's face became redder and redder as she listened. Finally she bellowed, "STAYNE!" and everyone within hearing distance was quite happy he was not the Knave of Hearts.

Meanwhile, down in the stables, Alice was just waking up to find the ominous visage of the Bandersnatch looming over her. Somehow he'd managed to shove his eye back into its socket, where it now stared upward uselessly. And yet this seemed to please the creature—so much so that he hadn't eaten Alice in her sleep.

Alice noticed a large key on a chain hanging around the Bandersnatch's neck. It must be the key to the chest! Keeping her eyes on the Bandersnatch, she reached for it, then froze as the monster lowered his head to sniff her arm and the wound he'd inflicted. A sharp bolt of pain ran up to her shoulder, but she refused to be deterred. Reaching forward again, she pulled the key off his neck.

But before she could turn to the chest, the Bandersnatch's long, thin tongue coiled out of its mouth. He began to gently lick her wound, and to her surprise, his tongue was soothing and cool. With a sigh, she let him lick the wound clean. When he stopped, the infection was miraculously gone and the swelling had gone down. Alice moved her arm around, realizing the pain was gone, too.

The Bandersnatch tilted his head at her, one eye askew.

"I suppose this makes us even now," said Alice, but she had to admit to herself that she now felt quite a bit more warmed to the horrible, toothy creature.

The key slid perfectly into the lock on the chest, and when Alice lifted the lid, she found a gleaming sword inside. She knew instantly that it was the Vorpal Sword—no other sword could be so beautiful. It was made of shiny silver with an ornate handle. Alice lifted it up to the light and saw runes engraved on the blade.

The Bandersnatch shuffled aside to let her leave the stall, and Alice found herself patting him on the nose as she went by. She carried the sword out into the courtyard, unaware of the peril that was waiting for her back inside the castle…

"Um forced herself on me!" the Knave lied, talking fast. He knelt before the Queen in the great hall, surrounded by curious courtiers and footfrogs who were rather enjoying the spectacle of the great Knave of Hearts in trouble for once.

"I told her my heart belongs to you," Stayne wheedled, taking the Queen's hand. "But she's obsessed with me!"

The Queen turned bright red with rage. "Off with her head!" she screamed.

In the Queen's dressing room, the Dormouse was trying to pick the lock of the chain around the Hatter's ankles. Her hatpin kept bending in the sturdy lock, and she made a small noise of irritation.

"Stand back, Mallymkun!" said a voice from the door.

The Dormouse and the Hatter both looked up at once. Standing in the doorway was Alice, victoriously wielding the Vorpal Sword high over her head. She gave the Hatter a triumphant look.

"How's this for muchness?" Alice asked. She swung the sword toward his chain.

"No! No!" cried the Hatter, wrenching the chain out of her way. Alice staggered forward and blinked at him in surprise. He hurried on, trying to explain. "It mustn't be used for anything but—"

"Arrest that girl for unlawful seduction!" cried another voice. The Knave of Hearts stood in the doorway, pointing at Alice. His Red Knights clattered in behind him and headed straight for her.

"Hatter!" called the Dormouse. Alice raised the sword to fight, but—

"Take it to the White Queen!" the Hatter cried.

"I'm not leaving without you!" Alice objected.

"Go!" he called out.

But Alice was hesitant. The Hatter grabbed two bolts of fabric and threw them, knocking the Red Knights down. The Knave then unsheathed his sword. The Hatter picked up a mannequin and used it to block Stayne's blows. Stayne hovered over him, driving him back against the table. The Hatter reached over his shoulder and grabbed a powder puff. He paused for only a moment before he began to swipe Stayne across his face. Then the Knave grabbed the manequin and threw it over his shoulder. Quickly, the Hatter spun around and grabbed a perfume bottle with a sprayer and, brandishing it, jumped on a chair to bring himself to the same height as the Knave.

"Run, Alice!" the Dormouse called out.

Stayne stopped dead, and the Dormouse recognized her mistake immediately. The Knave looked at Alice, revelation spreading across his face.

"Alice?" he said slowly.

"RUN!" bellowed the Hatter.

Alice had no choice. She fled out the door with the Knights in hot pursuit.

Stayne's voice boomed down the hall.

"SEIZE HER!

太阳俯视着远处的群山，照亮了山脚下红色沙漠上扬起的尘土。城堡里，红皇后正戴着疯帽子给她做的一顶大红帽子站在镜子前。疯帽子歪着脑袋，不屑一顾地看着她。

“不好！”红皇后边脱下帽子边说。

身边的侍臣都吓得倒吸了一口凉气，然后挤出一副笑脸，紧张得直打颤。

“您戴上这顶帽子漂亮极了！” 大肚子先生惊叹道。

“是啊，下一顶！”红皇后说。

疯帽子取下红皇后头上的帽子又换上另一顶——这顶帽子宽大的帽檐遮住了她半张脸。疯帽子看后满意地笑了。

“陛下您今天格外光彩照人！”大鼻子女士赞赏道。红皇后却说：“再换一顶！”正当疯帽子准备给红皇后试戴另一顶帽子时，大鼻子女士的鼻子掉到了地上。

“你掉东西了。”疯帽子对大鼻子女士说。

意识到发生什么事情时，这位女士吓得双眼圆瞪。她立马伸手摸摸鼻子，但只摸到了一个再普通不过的真鼻子。她吓得倒吸一口凉气，慌忙从地上捡起假鼻子，迅速转过身把它重新安上。

疯帽子眯起眼睛怀疑地看着周围的人。现在他发现大肚子先生的裤子上扎着一根皮带，专门用来固定那个圆鼓鼓的假肚子。重新安好大鼻子的女士又回过身来，疯帽子看着她哈哈大笑。这次可不是疯癫狂笑，而是真心觉得好笑。侍臣们局促不安地看着他。

“呵，别管他！他疯了！” 帽子底下传来红皇后的声音，她错过了整场好戏。接着她对身边的侍臣轻蔑地挥着手说：“过来！”

这时长耳朵女士冲进房间，急急忙忙奔过来在红皇后耳边窃窃私语。红皇后听着，脸越涨越红。终于她大吼一声：“斯塔亚尼！”所有听到这句话的人都庆幸自己不是黑骑士。

此时，在楼下的马厩里，爱丽丝刚刚苏醒，却发现大毛兽可怕的身影正在向她逼近。不知用什么方法，他终于把那颗眼珠子塞回了眼窝里，但眼珠朝上，还是什么也看不见。尽管这样，大毛兽似乎也挺高兴——高兴得让他居然没有吃掉昏睡中的爱丽丝。

爱丽丝发现大毛兽的颈链上挂着一把大钥匙。这肯定是箱子的钥匙！她一边用眼睛死死地盯着大毛兽，一边伸手去够钥匙。这时大毛兽却突然低下头嗅着她胳膊上的伤口，爱丽丝吓得僵住了。此时，她的肩膀感到一阵尖锐的疼痛，但爱丽仍然站在原地，毫不退缩。她把胳膊又往前伸了伸，终于从颈链上拽下了那把钥匙。

然而爱丽丝还没来得及打开箱子，大毛兽就卷着又长又薄的舌头，在爱丽丝的伤口上轻轻地舔了起来。让她惊讶的是，它的舌头让人感到很舒服、很凉爽。爱丽丝终于松了一口气，让大毛兽把她的伤口舔干净。它停下来后，感染的地方奇迹般地消失了，肿块也消退了。爱丽丝活动了一下胳膊，发现一点儿也不痛了。

那只眼珠子没安好，所以大毛兽只好歪着脑袋看着爱丽丝。

“我想我们现在扯平了。”爱丽丝说。但她现在不得不承认自己对这个面目可憎、尖牙利齿的怪物渐生好感。

钥匙顺利地滑进了箱子上的锁眼。爱丽丝揭开盖子，发现里面放着一把光芒四射的宝剑。她马上意识到这就是屠龙剑——世上最漂亮的宝剑。耀眼的银剑上带着华丽的剑柄。爱丽丝把它举到光亮处，看到刀锋上刻着神秘的符文。

大毛兽挪到一边好让爱丽丝离开马厩。爱丽丝离开时不由得拍了拍它的鼻子。她带着宝剑来到院子里，全然不知潜伏在城堡中的危机正等着她。

“是嗯她自己扑到我身上来的！” 黑骑士急忙撒谎说。他在大厅里，跪在红皇后面前，周围站满了好奇的侍臣和蛙仆人们。看到不可一世的黑骑士这次要大祸临头，他们都摆出一副幸灾乐祸的样子。

“我跟她说过我只喜欢您，”斯塔亚尼一边用甜言蜜语哄着红皇后，一边握着她的手说，“但是她还是缠着我！”

红皇后气得脸涨得通红，怒吼道：“砍掉她的脑袋！”

在红皇后的更衣室里，睡鼠正试图撬开拴着疯帽子脚踝的铁链上的那把锁。她的帽针在坚固的铁锁里撬了好一会儿，睡鼠低声恼怒地叫着。

“退后点，睡鼠！” 突然从门口传来一个声音。

睡鼠和疯帽子立刻抬起头，发现站在门口的是爱丽丝。她威风凛凛地举着屠龙剑，得意扬扬地看了一眼疯帽子。

“我这样做有正义感了吗？”爱丽丝问，说完便挥着剑朝疯帽子脚上的铁链砍去。

“别！别！”疯帽子急忙喊道，猛地把铁链从她面前拖开。爱丽丝踉踉跄跄地走上前来，惊愕地看着他。他赶忙上前解释：“它不能用来砍别的东西，除了……”

“以非法引诱罪逮捕那女孩！”突然又传来另一阵尖锐的声音。黑骑士正站在门口，用手指着爱丽丝。他身后的红骑士哐当哐当地冲过来直奔爱丽丝而去。

“疯帽子！”睡鼠大叫道。爱丽丝举起宝剑准备战斗，但是——

“把它带给白皇后！”疯帽子大声说。

“你不走我也不走！”爱丽丝反驳道。

“走啊！”疯帽子大声喊道。

但爱丽丝仍然犹豫不决。疯帽子胡乱抓起两匹布朝他们扔去，将红骑士砸倒在地。黑骑士立即拔出他的剑。疯帽子迅速抓起一个人体模特来抵挡黑骑士的进攻。斯塔亚尼朝疯帽子逼近，把他逼回到桌子边。疯帽子反手在身后抓到一个粉扑，突然停顿了一会儿，然后开始拿起粉扑在斯塔亚尼的脸上乱涂一通。此时斯塔亚尼一把抓住人体模特扔向身后。疯帽子急忙转过身，又抓起了一个带喷嘴的香水瓶，对着黑骑士狂喷。一边喷着，疯帽子一边跳上椅子，和黑骑士保持在一个高度。

“快跑，爱丽丝！”睡鼠大叫。

这时斯塔亚尼突然愣住了，睡鼠马上意识到自己说错了话。黑骑士惊讶地看着爱丽丝，一副如梦初醒的样子。

“爱丽丝？”他慢吞吞地说。

“快跑！”疯帽子声嘶力竭地喊了一声。

爱丽丝别无选择，只得夺门而出，身后的红骑士穷追不舍。

大厅里回荡着斯塔亚尼低沉的声音。

“抓住她！”