2017年12月英语四级作文点评：试卷一医患关系（沪江网校版）

高级版
The growing conflict in service industries, especially the conflict between patients and doctors, has aroused a heated discussion as to the solutions to this phenomenon. Views on the topic vary greatly among people from different walks of life.

There are several things we can do based on the causes for such conflict. First, patients usually do not have a thorough understanding of how challenging and frustrating a doctor's job could be; therefore, the government could create more chances for people to have access to that kind of information. Also, it is also suggested that regular experience sharing from experienced doctors and constant communication with patients, particularly those suffering from severe diseases, should be required of young inexperienced doctors so that they can put themselves in the patients' shoes. Finally, balancing medical resources in different areas will greatly relieve the pressure on doctors and hospitals because they do not need to deal with so many patients at a time.

From my perspective, it is crucial that the relationship between doctors and patients be improved remarkably and immediately. Only in this way can we build a harmonious society.

低级版
Nowadays, there has been a heated discussion as to the relationship between doctors and patients. Views on the topic vary greatly among people from different walks of life. To best handle the relationship, some believe that the patients’ needs should be satisfied as many as possible, but others consider it better to put the doctors’ suggestions/opinions/advice first. 

I totally agree with the idea that we should put the doctors’ advice first to form a better relationship between the doctors and the patients for the reasons presented below. To begin with, it is good/advantageous for the hospital because if everyone in society can respect the doctors more, it is more likely that the hospital will become better and better. (It is more likely that there will be fewer conflicts between the doctors and the patients) Furthermore, it benefits the patients, for it can help them form a better relationship with doctors which could result in a more satisfied treatment for themselves. 

From my perspective, it is crucial that the government should encourage people to show more respect to the doctors. Besides, it is also significant for people to be more confident about the doctors (who are more professional in medicine/medical science). Only in this way can have a better society. 

解析
文体：本次的作文是大家所熟悉的“议论文”，所以在文体上应该给了大家一颗定心丸，比今年6月份的应用文——广告——要容易写很多；

审题：其实题目中，最重要的一句话是：how to best handle the relationship between doctors and patients, 所以大家要好好思考一下这一句话就好了；这句话体现出的主题是“医患关系”，体现的要求是需要一个“解决方法”，因为措辞用的是“how”，所以大家在写的时候，围绕“医患关系”，给出“解决方法”就不会偏题了；

结构：议论文用三段论是最简单也最有效的。正如沪江网校的四六级课程里，一直给大家灌输的理念就是要“龙头凤尾，中间结构清晰”。也就是说，开头和结尾至少要用词准确，有吸引力，尤其是开头部分。因为开头是给改卷老师形成第一印象的重要位置，所以大家要保证开头的质量；结尾一段也是如此；而中间部分，有连接词展现段落的结构清晰，这篇文章在结构上就很清晰明了了。所以本文第一段，引入医患关系的主题，第二段给出自己的解决方法，并说明原因，第三段进一步给出对于集体和对于个人的不同建议，思路就很清楚了。