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GRE6分作文点评:对题材的深刻理解a

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我今天细看了两遍较难的6分范文,点评这篇如下:
"It is unfortunate that today's educators place so much emphasis on finding out what students want to include in the curriculum and then giving it to them. It is the educators' duty to determine the curriculum and the students' duty to study what is presented to them."

题目的意思是,当今教育部门过于重视学生在课程设置中的决定作用,正确的做法是教育部门决定课程,学生的任务就是好好学习。

The statement above conceals intesting connotations far above curriculum development. Issues of classroom control and development of scholarly talents are at stake, not simply a debate over which books are acceptable or over revisionist histories.

开题表明课程设置是次要的,重要的是适当的课堂秩序以及培养学生的学术才能。这是一个典型的另起炉灶型的作文,提出issue题目中并不包含的观点。

The statement itself is a bit misleading in that in my experience, student control over curriculum hardly existed. Each year, there were certain course offerings made available, and students were to choose from those offerings, of course bearing in mind requirements for graduation set forth by the administration. On a classroom level, the immediate, initial material may have been somewhat directed by the students, but this was a part of the process allowed by the teacher/professor insgroupsto gain the interest and attention of the students.

(以上是对issue题目中“学生对课程设置具有决定作用”presumption的否定,指出这不符合事实。)

However, too much of any one thing becomes problematic;

(这句话是否是指“过犹不及”的意思?我不大确定。However用于转折,但从下文的意思看,好像并不是对however以前内容的转折呀!这里可能有点问题!)letting students set the curriculum, as with letting students choose and design their own major in college, serves ultimately to dilute the quality of the educational experience unless a single advisor can devote significant amounts of time to the individual student. This amount of time, or even the expense to the student of this individual attention, seem to indicate that resources would be better allocated elsewhere.

后半截虽长,但意思只有一个,让学生决定课程内容会造成教育质量的下降。

Of course, any school in which the students decide "what goes" is bound to have problems controlling students. Once the educators, be they administrators or teachers, are under the control of students, even a democratic situation would be like holding royalty acountable to the mob(这句话我一直不明白是啥意思,请牛人指点!). Presently, students hear for hours that they should not forget to use a condom in the heat of the moment, and educators think the message gets through, while half the kids can't even remember to bring a pencil to class. Students go to school not to simply learn the Pythagorean theorem, but to learn direction and receive guidance. This cannot occur when students are in charge, and standards, already hard to find in America's contemporary public schools, will become unenforceable. If students dictate and administrators do, students will never learn academic responsibility, and if they can't be held accountable for homework, what other responsibilities will they avoid when they get older?

这一段相对比较简洁,通过举例等方式,说明学生缺乏自主决定课程设置的能力,让他们决定课程设置将使他们得不到direction and guidance.

But in another sense, teachers and students do exist in a partnership of sorts. Teachers are there to satisfy the needs of the student, and the student, while perhaps not being the most experienced/ knowledgeable person on what his/her needs actually are (versus wants), at least should be afforded some say. In addition, we must remember what the purpose of education is, and that there are different levels of education.

这里才进入了作者准备论述的主要内容,即学生和老师应当是伙伴关系,而不该是谁强迫谁做什么。不过,后面加了个in addition,又强调了一下教育目的和不同层次教育的差别。扯进来的东西太多了!

In high school, the focus is not so much on learning actual material. The focus is on developing study habits, and on social interaction. The best secondary schools promote an environment in which individual creativity and pacing can be developed,swheresstudents are taught to think on their own, and learn to debate and argue in a scholarly way, through writing and other formal methods of discourse.sgroupscollaboration and interpersonal skills are developed and honed. The actual details of what is studied and tested is of less importance. Whether a student reads Maya Angelou, or Yeats, or Euripides essentially is beside the point as long as a student's mind is cultivated, not just their ability to record and recite.

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