2007年3月13日 爱要怎么说出口？

亲爱的经济学家：

Dear Economist,

我爱上了自己最好的朋友。但她没有明确表示对我有同样的感觉。要不是由于这个我似乎无法理解的原因，每次我们一起出去的时候，大家都能度过最美好的时光。我觉得，如果告诉她我对她的感觉，与她之间的朋友关系就有可能疏远。在我看来，这的确一种大胆的表白。有什么建议吗？

I've fallen in love with my best friend. Whenever we go out, we have the best of times but for a reason I seem to unable to comprehend, she has not clearly indicated that she feels the same for me as I do for her. I see a risk of alienating her as a friend if I tell her how I feel for her. Quite an exposure in my view. Any suggestions?

F，奥地利

F, Austria

亲爱的F：
Dear F,

目前，经济学大量的注意力都集中在对认识的研究上，经济学家将"互动认识"(mutual knowledge)和"共同认识"(common knowledge)区别开来。"互动认识"就是你知道你爱她，她也知道你爱她，但你不知道她知道；"共同认识"是指你知道她知道你知道……无限循环下去。

Economics now devotes much attention to the study of knowledge, and economists distinguish between "mutual knowledge" - you know you love her and she knows you love her, but you do not know that she knows - and "common knowledge", where you know that she knows that you know that... ad infinitum.

这种区别可能看起来过于精细，但在你的情况中，它可能是至关重要的。坦白地讲，最有可能的情况是，你的朋友像读书一样能读懂你，但宁愿忽视你对她的迷恋。纯粹互动认识的这种含糊，保住了你们之间的友谊；但明确爱慕之情将建立共同认识，并毁坏你们的友谊。

The distinction might seem over-fine, but in your case it may be critical. The most likely scenario, frankly, is that your friend can read you like a book but prefers to ignore your crush. The ambiguity of mere mutual knowledge preserves your friendship, but a declaration of love would create common knowledge and doom it.
另一种可能性是你所希望的：她爱你，但不知道你对她的爱。你只需在不冒任何风险的情况下探究一下这是否属实，因此只要问她的朋友、做些调查就可以了。

The alternative possibility is the one you hope for: she loves you but does not know of your love. You need to discover whether this is true without risking all, so simply ask a friend of hers to make inquiries.

当然，另一个选择是给英国《金融时报》写封信。如果你的朋友现在假装没注意到你的爱慕，她也会假装没注意到你的信。这样就能够避免共同认识致命的透明性，同时保住你们的友谊。

Another option, of course, is to write a letter to the FT. If your friend is pretending not to notice your ardour she can also pretend not to notice your letter. The fatal transparency of common knowledge is avoided and your friendship can continue.

如果出于某种奇迹，她爱你，但不知道你的感受，那么你的信将会解决这个问题。为接下来几天祈祷吧，怎么样？

If by some miracle she loves you but is blind to your feelings, your letter will solve this problem. Fingers crossed for the next few days, eh?