汇丰银行商务写作教程（12）

Being Cohesive: What is a Cohesive Paragraph? 

You've just learned how to define a cohesive paragraph:

A cohesive paragraph is a group of sentences all related to one idea.

You're now going to learn how to write a cohesive paragraph.

Do you remember the three things that can help make each paragraph you write cohesive?

l        a topic sentence 

l        supporting sentences 

l        transitions 

Being Cohesive: What Is A Topic Sentence? 

In this section, you're going to discover two things:

l        what a topic sentence is and

l        what a topic sentence does.

In business writing, the topic sentence is 

l        usually the first sentence of the paragraph 

l        short, with only 7 to 10 words

l        the most general sentence in the paragraph.

Look at the following example of a topic sentence. It describes the HSBC Home Mortgage Loan.

Our Home Mortgage Loan eases the stress of buying property. Our terms are very competitive. The flexible repayment schedule enables you to budget your expenses. In addition, it gives you a clear picture of your financial commitment for the whole period.

Notice that the topic sentence

l        is the first sentence of the paragraph

l        has only ten words

l        contains general information; the other sentences contain specific information. 

Being Cohesive: What Does A Topic Sentence Do? 

Do you know what a topic sentence does?

In business writing, the topic sentence:

l        summarises the main idea of the paragraph

l        helps the reader predict what the paragraph is about.

Look again at the example of the topic sentence describing a mortgage loan. Note that the topic sentence:

l        summarises the main idea, ie that a Home Mortgage Loan eases the stress of buying property 

l        suggests the rest of the paragraph will describe how the Loan eases the stress.

Learning Point 2

The topic sentence summarises the main idea of the paragraph.

It is the most general sentence in the paragraph.

For maximum impact, the topic sentence should be short, with only 7-10 words.

In business writing, the topic sentence is usually the first sentence of the paragraph. The topic sentence helps the reader predict what the paragraph is about.

In the exercise below, each group of sentences could form a paragraph if they were re-organised.

Try to identify the topic sentence in each group, ie the sentence that should go first.

1.  

 a. Your staff need to feel that you value their work. 

 b. As a team leader, you face several challenges. 

 c. Staff also want to be treated as individuals. 

 d. In addition, you need to make them aware of the team's work. 

 e. Through your actions, you must earn their respect. 

B introduces the idea of a team leader's challenges, the other sentences list some of these challenges.

2.  

 a. Everyone also knows in what areas they need to improve.

 b. Finally, everyone knows what is expected of them in the future. 

 c. In addition, everyone knows how they can improve.

 d. A good appraisal system produces four results.

 e. Everyone is aware of their achievements.

D introduces the idea of a good appraisal system saying there are four results. The other sentenses list the four results.

3.  

 a. Inflation seems to be on the rise.

 b. Every day the newspaper brings more bad news.

 c. Older people are worried about their pension schemes.

 d. Major department stores are closing down.

 e. The unemployment figures are rising.

B introduces the statement that newspapers bring bad news. The other sentenses list some examples of this bad news.

Being Cohesive: Topic Sentence 

In this exercise, the topic sentence is missing. Write a topic sentence that

l        introduces the subject of the paragraph and

l        summarises the main idea of the paragraph.

1. Problems in service. 

a. First, phones are answered too slowly.

b. Second, customers are put on hold too frequently.

c. Third, messages are not taken down accurately. 

2. We can not agree on your requist.  

a. Our records show that your income has been irregular.

b. We also note that your overdraft limit has been reached.

c. Moreover, your other personal loan has not been fully repaid

Answer:

1. There is no model answer. However, you're doing well if your sentence contains an expression similar to this: "There are three major problems with our telephone answering service."

This sentence introduces the idea that is expanded upon in the other sentences.

2. There is no model answer. However, you're doing well if your sentence contains an expression similar to this: "Unfortunately, we are unable to grant you another loan."

This sentence introduces the idea that is expanded upon in the other sentences.

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