社交必用计：如何与陌生人搭讪

小时候，爸妈总告诉我“不要和陌生人说话”。这份“不要XX”名单还包括：“不要接受陌生人的食物和糖果”、“不要上陌生人的车”等等。

WHEN I was a child, my parents always told me that I should never talk to strangers. This was part of a whole list of things I should never do: Never accept food or candy from strangers, never get in a car with strangers, and so on.

可如果我们不试着与陌生人讲话，就交不到新朋友，连份工作也找不到，还将错过与陌生人分享另一种生活的乐趣。

If we didn't start a conversation with strangers, we'd never make new friends. We'd never get a job. We'd miss out on the joy that comes from talking with unfamiliar people about their lives.

当你旅游时，注重与当地人沟通能让你了解该处风土人情。此外，和其他同行者谈天说地也不错，这不仅能带来实用的建议，听到一些精彩冒险故事，说不定你还可以找到将来一起出行的旅伴！

Whenever you travel, it's important to converse with the locals to learn what life in the place you're passing through is like. It's also good to strike up a conversation with other travelers. You can get some useful advice, hear amazing adventure stories, and maybe even pick up a partner for future trips!

同样的道理也适用于本地社交活动。在咖啡馆、俱乐部与陌生人搭讪也能让你交到新朋友，幸运的话甚至可以找到一个恋人。而且，这总比你一个人枯坐整个下午或晚上有意思多了。

The same thing applies to social settings closer to home. Talking with a stranger at a café or club could get you a new friend or even a romantic partner. It's also a much more entertaining way to pass the afternoon or evening than sitting alone by yourself.

更何况，在如今这个社会，想在事业上出人头地就一定要有良好的人脉关系。你认识的人越多，就越有可能碰到那些能帮你带来机会的人物。

And, in a world where getting ahead professionally often depends on personal connections, the more people you know, the more likely you are to find someone who can help you find opportunities.

下文将提供一些社交指南，教你如何与陌生人搭讪。读了这个，你就知道什么该说，什么不该说，以及怎样最大限度地把握每一场谈话。

The following pages offer you the ultimate social guide, with some advice on how to mingle with strangers. You'll learn what to say, what not to say, and how to make the most out of each conversation.

开场白：如何打破沉默
Try breaking the ice

别只顾着低头看鞋，走过去和生人打个招呼。当你意识到自己正与文化背景迥异的人面对面，以下这些开场白将帮你度过尴尬时刻。

Don't just stare at your shoes. Go say "Hi" to that new guy. The ice-breakers that follow will help you get through the embarrassing moments when you find yourself in front of people from different cultures:

英式开场白：天气不错，对吧？
British: 'Beautiful day, isn't it ?'

英国的天气变化莫测。因此，天气是英国人最关心的话题之一。谈论天气时有个简单的秘诀：无论你是否同意说话人的观点，都要回答“对”。这是因为英国人常以天气为开场白，以达成一致立场，继而转谈其他话题。

The weather in Britain is unpredictable. So, it's one of the topics the British care most about. And there's a simple rule governing weather-speak: Say, "Yes" whether you agree with the person's comment on the weather or not. That's because the British start a conversation using the weather so that they can find common ground and move on to something else.

法式开场白：你假期去哪了？更多信息请访问：http://www.engbus.cn/
French: Where'd you go on holiday ?

如果想要接近法国人，最保险的方法就是问他/她最近的假期是怎么度过的。法国学生每2个月就有10-15天的假期。法国员工每年有6周多的假期。另外，法国人喜欢边喝咖啡边聊天。所以，你只要洗耳倾听就好了。

To approach a French person, the safest bet is to ask about his or her last holiday. French students enjoy a 10-to-15-day holiday every two months. French employees get more than six weeks of holidays per year. And the French are famous for their sense of conversing over a cup of coffee. All you need to do is keep your ears open.

美式开场白：你来自哪里？
American: So, where are you from ?

美国幅员辽阔，人员流动频繁。因此，地域就成了一大聊天话题。你可以把自己和其来处联系起来，比如说，要是对方来自于洛杉矶，你就说：“哦，我有个朋友在那上学。他曾在街上见过好几次布拉德－皮特呢！”这样一来，你的新朋友肯定会给予热情回复的。

The US is so big and people move so frequently that location is always a source of talk. You can try to find a connection with the place they're from. For example, if someone's from Los Angeles, you could say: "Oh, I have a friend who studied there. He says he saw Brad Pitt several times on the street." And you'll likely get an enthusiastic reply from your new friend.

如何在聊天网站打开话题
Conversation starters on Internet chat sites

“嗨，我在网上遭遇了各种各样的奇人。” "Man, I've met some pretty weird characters online."(八卦一下你在网上遭遇的奇人，不仅是开心的谈资，同时也打消对方的顾虑：你不是怪人。不过并不是所有人都喜欢评价别人，如果你觉得这个话题并不是你想聊的，也不要紧，你只需顺势转换话题，比如 "It takes all kinds to make a world. What are your hobbies?"这个转移话题的方法可以以此类推用到其他时候。)

“稍等一下，有些工作要做。” "Brb, gotta get some work done."(Brb= be right back，稍等。这一招儿是用来搪塞让你讨厌的网友的。说完后你可以把状态设置为"离开"。类似的借口还有"brb, need to go pick up a friend"，理由越空越好，空得让他插不上话。如果太"实在"，比如 "get a phone call or go to an event"，会成为对方搭讪的入口，脸皮厚的人也许会借机跟你要电话号码或者申请加入你的活动，那就事与愿违了。)

“谢谢你倾听我的故事。和你聊天真的很开心。” "Thanks for listening, I really felt at ease talking to you."(如果你聊得开心，直白地表达吧，特别是对偶然遇见的网友。如果对方跟你这么说，你可能会有点不好意思，即使你感觉不好也不必拒绝，你可以说 "Hey, no problem. Feel free to look me up whenever you need to talk.")

如何在俱乐部搭讪
Conversation starters at clubs

“和朋友一起来的么？” "So who're you here with?"(通常是男生问女生，这么问其实是打探对方是不是来约会的。回答这个问题十分微妙，同样是说"我跟异性朋友一起来的"，可能会有相反的结果。如果搭讪的男生让你不感兴趣，你可以说："Oh, I'm here with a friend. He's back there. See him?"知趣的男生就会知难而退了。如果你确实是被异性约来的，但是不太情愿，而对眼前这位还颇有感觉，你可以说"Oh, I shared a cab with a friend who's still dancing. Would you like to get a drink?")

“这里的酒保手艺不错。” "The bartenders here make some pretty good mojitos."(如果你不好意思主动邀请对方喝酒，你可以这样委婉地试探，如果对方有意思，他要么让你买酒给他，或者请你喝一杯。如果你不想跟对方浪费时间，你可以用非常友好的语气说："Cool, I'll tell my friends, thanks!")

“这通常人都这么多么？” "Is it usually this crowded?"(这实际是在试探对方是不是老出来玩儿。如果你不想让别人知道你的情况，你可以说："Oh, I can still hear you/there are enough people."接下来自我介绍吧。)